My Resignation

Today’s date.


Dear Employer,

I quit. My last day will be __/__/2021.



Wow, didn’t that feel good? Your resignation is simply a formal proclamation of your intention of separating employment with a company. Some companies may find you a literal threat once you submit your resignation and will terminate you immediately, yanking back that card key, credit card and all computer access. If they didn’t know you were pissed, you could sabotage the company from within, if you haven’t already. If you are around products or merchandise, or even cash, you could rip them off since you know how the systems work. In many companies, for some positions it is automatic for security reasons.


In this day and age, your clients/customer list is also an asset and you certainly don’t want one of your employees walking off with it and stealing your business. It happens. Anything you do online, including your keystrokes can and will be monitored. If you are in a situation where you KNOW you are going to lose your job, such as a company lay off or downsizing, be very careful not to let your guard down and screw it up. Meaning, don’t be late to work, don’t do anything illegal on company time (drinking on lunch), failing a random drug test, … surfing porn on company computers. Yes, all these things can and will end your employment AND that severance package AND your unemployment. Remember, you are a liability at this point and the company will try to cut it’s losses as much as they can.


So that resignation example was SUPER simple, and of course you can outline and detail every single reason why you are quitting that company, and you can nail them (whomever you hated for quitting) to the cross at this point. It is formal, in writing, and a “complaint” that HR and management will need to address. If that supervisor gets an abnormal amount of employees quitting then HR will step in and try to prevent it, by PIP of that supervisor. Sometimes he/she will get demoted. Yeah, that is super fun. It is even more fun when an employee “steps down” on their own. If you are a supervisor, and you are addressed with some “issues” then you may need to take a step back and determine your areas of opportunity as it will definitely affect your annual review.


A two week resignation is only a courtesy, and by no means required. You can walk out of a job and never return. You are not required by law to list that shitty job on your resume. And if it was under a year, it might not be worth it at all. I am pretty sure you can even text message or email your resignation if you don’t want to show up in person. There are literally thousands of “jobs” out there, so there is no need to be abused by an employer/supervisor. GTFO and save yourself. Do you drive a car? Wow, you can be an Uber/Lyft driver. If you haven’t heard, there is a driver shortage … oh wait, there is an employee shortage. Why? Oh, you know, some of them just died. How dare they. Some retired. Lucky ducks. Others found that they don’t need a double income to survive. If you don’t have your shot, mask up buddy. Lots of weirdos out there are not vaxed and are running around naked.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, daddies, and of course all the mom’s who had to BE the dad (single, divorced, widowed). We can’t forget our father, who art in heaven. Say it. “Thanks Dad. You’re the best.”