2000 calories a day. That is all we are “recommended” to eat on a daily basis. Says who? Oh, the doctors, the professionals, Dr. Now (from My 600 pound life), dietitians, athletic people, coaches … basically everyone. Okay, cool. So why a blog about it? Because, everyone, including me is kind of going over that daily allotment and the world, as a whole, is getting fatter. It’s not healthy, it’s unattractive, and frankly someone needs to say something.
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Do you enjoy being fat? Do you like your clothes not fitting nicely? As my fat manager from AT&T once said, “You don’t have to tell fat people they are fat. They know it. They just get used to it and deal with it. But please don’t remind us we are fat.” I thought this was hilarious, as I used the exact same analogy for when an employee is late. It’s not like that employee all of the sudden looked up and said “Oh shit, I need to be at work like ten minutes ago.” Well, maybe some do, but more normal people know when they are supposed to be somewhere, like work … where the schedule is usually the same and the days off are also the same. In all fairness though, once I didn’t show up to work until 8 hours later, I was coded “No call no show”, but when I came in to “close” due to a schedule mix up/change, it was A-OKAY. Simple mistake. No need to fire Aaron.
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So, back to those 2000 calories. Well, when Arby’s put out that orange dreamsicle shake it was like, … a dream for me. I had one, or two a day. OMG so good. And yes, I kept eating like I was a growing teenager, eating whenever I wanted. Surprise, Dr. Now says you cannot eat 10,000 calories a day. What? No way. Yes. Way. Stop it. No chips. No sugary sodas. Some people can drink that ALL DAY LONG. You might as well just put an IV directly into your veins pumping in that much sugar all day long. Sugar is in everything. It is almost impossible to buy anything without sugar, … at a gas station convenience store. Red Bull and Monster drinks are totally off limits. Damn. I really liked my Red Bull vodkas back in the day, but you can imagine what that does to your system. An upper and an downer at once.
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So like most people locked up during COVID and no one to see my beach body, I packed on the pounds. No way. Way. Like 20 pounds. Can you imagine me 20 pounds heavier? Damn, I’d be almost as fat as my twin brother. Wait, he’s fatter than that. My abs turned to “flabs”. Fat – abs. Or so they say on Botched. So I needed to do something drastic, and unfortunately for me, those dreamsicle shakes had to go. I started by putting keto creamer in my coffee, which has MCT, grassfed butter, and Himalayan salt in it, which turbo charges your metabolism and helps you to burn fat faster. I also switched to a 24 hour fasting, which was kind of hard at first but the results have been amazing. I am happy to report that I shed those 20ish pounds and my 6 pack is ready for summer. I won’t bore you with the medical science behind keto diets, fasting, and putting MCT in your coffee daily. There are a ton of YouTube videos that will educate you nicely. IF you are going to start a fasting program, read/research the do’s and don’t so you don’t accidentally damage yourself. Switch to sunflower seeds as your go to snack. Drop those Twizzlers and Snickers. Switch to some variation of green tea. Lemons and honey are good for you.
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“Watch it wiggle. See it jiggle. Cool and fruity.” J.E.L.L.O.
Have you seen Goonies? Yeah, you don’t want to do the truffle shuffle either. Lose the fat. You don’t have to do a hundred sit ups, but you could maybe start with 10. 10 sit ups, not 10 jellos.
