Your Personal Spa

Have you ever been to a “spa”? The closest thing I have experienced is looking at the spa treatments through the glass windows in the fancy Vegas hotels. Since I’m not a millionaire with boatloads of money to blow, I do the next best thing. Create my own spa like experience in the comfort of my own home. After staying at many of the 5 star resorts in Vegas I had a pretty good idea how to make my personal retreat even better.

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Years ago I upgraded my shower to have five different spray nozzles, the overhead rain simulation is probably my favorite. We upgraded the hot water heater as well and now it is literally like a steam shower sauna experience. Cool LED lights, plants in the window, and of course an Amazon Echo dot to play “wind chimes” or zen music while you relax. And yes, of course there is a vanilla candle. Go buy a half dozen new expensive fluffy white towels and roll them up in put them in baskets so you always have an awesome towel like at the resort spa. Get yourself an expensive bathrobe. My shower is nicer than many of the million dollar home flips I see on HGTV. Every shower should have a handheld nozzle sprayer so you can wash your dog in the shower.

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A long time ago I was at a friend’s house and in her guest bathroom she had paper towels instead of a cloth towel to dry your hands. She said it was much more sanitary, and you really shouldn’t be wiping your face on a towel that you used to dry your hands. It makes sense. It might accidentally expose your face to something nasty. We will just leave it at that. Paper towels also are great for wiping down the dirt from your face after you “think” it is all clean. Nope. There is still always a little bit of dirt and it is a good exfoliater as it is sterile and clean.

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If COVID taught us one thing, DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE. Yes, the mask is down but seriously stop touching your face. Don’t touch doorknobs. I open doors walking backwards with my ass. If anyone sees me I say “Look at me! My ass opened the door and I didn’t touch it with my hand!” Laugh all you want, but there are millions of people that don’t wash their hands. Even with COVID people do their thing and then don’t wash. It’s gross. I always wipe down the gas pump handle before I touch it. Germaphobe? Nope. Smart. Hey I was one of the lucky ones who didn’t get infected. I don’t have to worry about the virus making my hair fall out. I can walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for breath. I can still carry a bag or five of groceries from the car inside. There are a ton of documentaries on YouTube of the after effects of “long haulers” and their life sucks.

 

Be thankful you are alive, made it through this and got your shot. Hand sanitizer is almost free, so stock up and keep using it in your daily routine (if you are out in public or around people). If you haven’t gotten the second shot is it really so hard to tell Siri, Alexa, Google, or Facebook to set a reminder?

 

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The Fountain Of Youth

Beauty is skin deep, or so they say. I personally believe that having beautiful skin is the first step in your own self confidence. So I took this selfie this morning and next month I will celebrate 48 years young. Crazy right? So you know I have an identical twin, and he looks nothing like me anymore. Sure we look related but not identical twins. So what happened? Well I have a skincare/beauty routine, and he doesn’t. There actually are millions and millions of people who do NOTHING to preserve their beauty and youth. I mean, take a look at all the old farts in congress. Yeah, pretty bad. Crows feet, dark puffy bags, hard smile lines, and hyper-pigmentation like crazy. Years and years of UV damage and abuse. You could take a sharpie and connect all the dark spots. And if you were to ask them how many of them actually use sunscreen, the number would shock you. It would be like getting republicans to vote for a credible bill for once. Dream on.

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When strangers find out my real age, usually they don’t believe me, and then they want to know what it is I am doing to look so good. Is it a secret skincare product? A magical bean? A lotion or potion? Please tell we want to know. I can’t say it is just one thing that I do to keep my skin looking young and clear. It is a lifestyle of things. I’ve never really documented or written down what I do, and I figured now is as good as any. I mean, if it works for me, then in theory it should work for you, right? First off, do I take a special pill or vitamin? No. I do take a collagen supplement, and I just finished off a month supply from Dose & Company. Khloe Kardashian endorses it and it has good ingredients. Oh how I would love to have skin like Khloe. It is a powder and I put it in my coffee daily. Gorgeous hair, skin and nails. I seriously have to cut my nails almost weekly.  I also drink about a gallon of some variation of water every day. Hot days, even more. Coffee, tea, Welch’s cherry flavored water, and sometimes a coke. No alcohol, and I try to stay away from processed sugars. If you follow my Instagram then you know I eat really healthy and make almost everything myself, including my own hard shell taco shells. Did you know restaurants put “things” in their fryer oil which make them not so great. So I love french fries, but I can cut up a potato and fry it in peanut oil with no added chemicals. McDonald’s, love your fries, hate your poisons. Stay away from fried foods as much as possible. That grease goes right to your face. Yuck.
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Speaking of, you should develop a consistent routine of cleaning your face, morning – mid-afternoon, and before bed. Sweat, dirt, toxins in the air, all kinds of shit gets on your face, clogging pores and making your skin red, irritated and not so pretty. I actually use the K-beauty (Korean) techniques and double, triple wash my face. What? Start with a make-up wipe, use an exfoliater cleanser, then a hydrating something (I use a goat milk version), and THEN a ph toner. That sounds like a lot of work. Nah, I can do it all in less than 60 seconds. My face feels fresh, smooth, clean and young. From there you can use an eye cream, a serum, and finally some moisturizer.
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Am I going to give you product recommendations? Well, I actually have a TON of beauty skincare products. 111SKIN is a brand out of London, Harley street, and is super expensive. I have gotten a lot of their expensive products at significant discount with my Ipsy membership. I highly recommend trying some of their magical products if you can afford it. Rianna and Khloe both love them, and so do I. I also am a big fan of Sunday Riley, and with both of these companies I have had terrific results. There is a company called “Fresh” and I have tried their products and I really like their face masks. I have found that masks are a “spa like” experience, especially if you use an ultrasonic face roller.
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With summer beating down on us, it is a really great idea to use sunscreen. I like SuperGoop, SundayRiley, and SOL Janeiro bum bum oil. The SOL is probably my favorite as it smells so good. It comes in a spray so it’s easy to apply. These are face sunscreen, not something you slather all over your body before you hit the pool. If you do any of your own research you will find all kinds of research that shows the UV rays are damaging to your skin. Ironic how our younger years it is most susceptible to long term damage, and yet, those are the years we think we can “lay out” and “work on our tan”. If you are young, don’t. Protect your biggest organ as if your life depended on it. Wear sunscreen.

 

These product endorsements were not paid, and all products were purchased with my own hard earned money. In all fairness, I was introduced to the Brazilian bum bum cream from Sephora as my free birthday membership gift and I have been addicted ever since. Vanilla caramel pistachio. It’s heavenly.

 

 

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More New Content!

You would think that with every artist and writer locked up at home, alone, that there would have been some really cool masterpieces created. Right? New award winning grammy songs, new plays, and of course, new books from your favorite authors. Don’t look at me, I update the blog WEEKLY. Some writers haven’t written a tweet, let alone an actual blog. Although, I think that more celebrities and authors SHOULD write more. I think reading the thoughts, hopes and dreams of some well known stars would be fun. If you can talk, you can write. While some authors may not be the best at writing, at least they were trying. Some people write differently than how they talk. As I have instructed many aspiring writers, … are you “telling” me what happened, or am I experiencing it using all my senses? Do I “feel” what you feel? Can you smell the fresh baked bread in gramma’s kitchen as the amber sunlight slowly creeps in her flower box window? So I am taking a short break from the job search blogs, today. Yes I know they are entertaining and informative, but they are actually really boring for me. My days were filled with looking at bad resumes from students for years. I could quickly scan a resume and find at least one error … every time. But it takes a trained eye. Some HR recruiters might not even notice some errors. I think I covered most of the bases. Y’all should be able to get a job on your own now.

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So let’s flip over to talking about social media training. I know there are thousands of readers that would love to have a huge social media following. First ask yourself, why do you want that following? Maybe it is so you can build a platform so you can get publishers to notice you and print/publish your book? Your ability to prove to a publisher that you will sell future books is monumental. They claim it costs a lot to print books. Wrong. It costs a lot to print unsellable books. Just think how many stores Barnes & Nobles has, and how many books have to stock each store. Some readers want a following so they can monetize their content. Right. So if you get enough views on YouTube, then advertisers will pay money to put their stupid ad on your video. But you get paid. You might have a big “voice” that other people want to hear. Maybe you have a different take or perspective on a particular issue, and your platform shares those concerns? If you are in the spotlight, your personal lifestyle choices might be “reviewed” and if not deemed appropriate, YouTube can/will demonetize your channel and you get paid nothing. I can think of a certain individual who not only got banned but also lost monetary abilities.

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So if you own a website it may or may not have a blog incorporated into it. Believe it or not, that is something that is extra. If it is a WordPress website it is super simple to use the blog feature. If you didn’t know, WordPress allows additional software, called plugins to be installed to enhance your website. I think this is what has made their platform so successful. One thing that I would encourage website owners (you) to do, is use the Jetpack plugin which has all kind of cool features. If you have subscribed to the site, then you know you don’t have to visit it daily to check if a new blog has been posted. Super convenient for you, and also gives the site a rest from getting too many hits. That is a Jetpack feature. I don’t own my server, so if it gets overloaded, it causes it to stall or get a 503 error. You refresh and it is fixed. But imagine if you were say, Lady Gaga, who has millions of fans. Everyone’s website is different and has different reasons/usage. Some sites actually sell products, and when they launch a new product, … it crashes.

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So if you are a normal person, you probably won’t get millions of hits. But when you do, you can upgrade your site with your hosting server. Just so you know, there will be fans that love you so much they will actually set your website as one of their start up tabs. From the back-end you will know this happens as the same IP address is registering daily in your logs. Everyone has some interesting “hobby” that they are sort of an expert. You can write about it, or YouTube about it, and someone will like it and be a new fan. If you create interesting, new, fun content then you will start your social media following. What are you known for? Then brand yourself that way. Or what do you WANT to be known for? If you knew you were going to die next year, what do you want your legacy to be known for? Or do you have a secret recipe that you really should share with the world? Pin it. Instagram it. Write about it. Do all of the above.

 

Maybe you don’t want a huge social media fan base, but you can still start a free blog and document/write your thoughts that you want shared to your family and friends one day. I know you’re just bored, so do it out of sheer boredom. Writing out your thoughts can really help your mental health.

June. Teenth. What a stupid name for a federal holiday. Wow congress really has their priorities don’t they? May 4th should be a federal star wars holiday. I am sure there are lot of other “groups” that say “Where’s my fucking holiday?” Just saying, since no one else will. Evil is now streaming on the Paramount app instead of CBS. It is like $5 a month. So $1.25 an episode as they launch now every Sunday. I saw it, and it’s worth it. You do get a free trial.

 

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My Resignation

Today’s date.

 

Dear Employer,

I quit. My last day will be __/__/2021.

Sincerely,

Me

Wow, didn’t that feel good? Your resignation is simply a formal proclamation of your intention of separating employment with a company. Some companies may find you a literal threat once you submit your resignation and will terminate you immediately, yanking back that card key, credit card and all computer access. If they didn’t know you were pissed, you could sabotage the company from within, if you haven’t already. If you are around products or merchandise, or even cash, you could rip them off since you know how the systems work. In many companies, for some positions it is automatic for security reasons.

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In this day and age, your clients/customer list is also an asset and you certainly don’t want one of your employees walking off with it and stealing your business. It happens. Anything you do online, including your keystrokes can and will be monitored. If you are in a situation where you KNOW you are going to lose your job, such as a company lay off or downsizing, be very careful not to let your guard down and screw it up. Meaning, don’t be late to work, don’t do anything illegal on company time (drinking on lunch), failing a random drug test, … surfing porn on company computers. Yes, all these things can and will end your employment AND that severance package AND your unemployment. Remember, you are a liability at this point and the company will try to cut it’s losses as much as they can.

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So that resignation example was SUPER simple, and of course you can outline and detail every single reason why you are quitting that company, and you can nail them (whomever you hated for quitting) to the cross at this point. It is formal, in writing, and a “complaint” that HR and management will need to address. If that supervisor gets an abnormal amount of employees quitting then HR will step in and try to prevent it, by PIP of that supervisor. Sometimes he/she will get demoted. Yeah, that is super fun. It is even more fun when an employee “steps down” on their own. If you are a supervisor, and you are addressed with some “issues” then you may need to take a step back and determine your areas of opportunity as it will definitely affect your annual review.

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A two week resignation is only a courtesy, and by no means required. You can walk out of a job and never return. You are not required by law to list that shitty job on your resume. And if it was under a year, it might not be worth it at all. I am pretty sure you can even text message or email your resignation if you don’t want to show up in person. There are literally thousands of “jobs” out there, so there is no need to be abused by an employer/supervisor. GTFO and save yourself. Do you drive a car? Wow, you can be an Uber/Lyft driver. If you haven’t heard, there is a driver shortage … oh wait, there is an employee shortage. Why? Oh, you know, some of them just died. How dare they. Some retired. Lucky ducks. Others found that they don’t need a double income to survive. If you don’t have your shot, mask up buddy. Lots of weirdos out there are not vaxed and are running around naked.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, daddies, and of course all the mom’s who had to BE the dad (single, divorced, widowed). We can’t forget our father, who art in heaven. Say it. “Thanks Dad. You’re the best.”

 

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Just Another Bad Situation

So, let’s pretend your work/life situation is not to your liking. It happens. There might be a coworker, a customer, or even a manager that you just absolutely despise. In some businesses, you might see that problem customer, over and over again, month after month. If it is a supervisor or manager, then you might be faced with making a difficult decision. Do you make that conscious decision to actively start looking for a new job, secretly, or do you suck it up and make the best of a shitty situation? Well, it really depends on how much you really hate that individual.

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Like I said before, people don’t leave jobs because of the nature of work, they leave because of conflicts with managers. That “manager” might be the owner of the company so there may not BE any workable solution other than leaving. I worked for the owner of a 3 person company and he said to me “My company. My rules.” He was a financial planner and unethically told all his clients to sell a particular fund against his own prior advisement. Then he insinuated he had “secret” insider information (hush hush don’t tell your friends). Also illegal. He is long dead now, so no repercussions to him.  Well, if you didn’t know, there is a fee associated with selling and when you have hundreds of clients all selling and then buying, that broker gets paid. It’s a really shitty way to rip off your customers so you can make more money off of them. Most people pay a professional to make smart decisions for them so they make money, not so they can keep paying stupid fees.

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So with any relationship situation, it is best to start the list. You know, the pros and cons of that relationship. This applies to dating as well as work. What do you like? Why is it beneficial for you? Are you paying your dues? Is the person who is making life difficult really a secret mentor in disguise? Are you supposed to learn something from this person or teach something to this person? In many years to come you will look back and understand the “why” behind your reason for being there.  Now ask yourself, do you REALLY want to start all over in a new environment? Bottom guy on the totem pole? Starting all over again sucks. Making new friends (if applicable). For some people the thought and idea of getting out is a fresh of breath air. Others are in their comfort zone and will continue to tolerate the shit. When you tell your employer all your life stories, they got you. You’re trapped. You just bought a new car. You have kids. You have a mortgage. You aren’t going anywhere. They will work you to death and you are just an employee number to them. Seriously at the end of the day, unless you are married to the owner or his/her kid, they don’t really give a hoot about you. If you leave, so what. There are a dozen struggling, unemployed people out there someone will happily take your job and laugh at why you quit. Your new job might be worse off than the one you are in now. So you hate ____ about your job. Everyone hates something about their job.

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Artists who become self employed realize they have to collect on accounts and those types of conversations might not be so fun for them. Most small business owners find themselves in a boatload of administrative HR stuff, along with accounting. Hate it, but have to do it. So think carefully before you leave that cushy job in the nice cool air conditioning. What if that problem person just went away instead? Now there is an idea. Can you outlast that person? I worked retail for a really, really long time. I know that most hourly retail workers don’t have more than a year in them before they burn out. Sometimes you can just wait until they leave on their own, … or get enough bad surveys. Hmm, could your friends be that person’s customer and then they give him a shitty survey score constantly to get him/her fired? Yes. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and the only one who is looking out for you (other than me) is YOU. At the end of the day, you got bills to pay and responsibilities.

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So I know that some of my readers are EXACTLY is this situation right now. My advice, if you are going to start looking for a job, tell your network. Let one of your contacts be your champion and get you that interview. Did you know you have been considered for positions before, but the hiring manager thought you were happy and would never leave your job? Oops. Always open to new opportunities and challenges. Actively seeking new projects/clients/1099’s. We never know what tomorrow holds, unless we are dealing the cards. So deal a wild card today. Did you write your items for your dream job? Who knows, it might be in your near future.

 

 

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We Need To Talk

Those scary 4 words. You hear them from your spouse, teacher, supervisor and you cringe. From an HR perspective, I usually have to close the door as it usually means that employee is in trouble for … something.  Attendance, no call no show, customer complaint, … or the dreaded “survey results” conversation. As a consumer, you can use an internal “anonymous” review of employees. We call this “Mystery Shopper”. Of course, this doesn’t work in every industry or field, but it is something that can actually get an employee fired if they get enough bad survey results. Every Fortune 500 company that has customers have surveys. They also have reviews. They also have to fear angry customers exploding on their social media pages. If management or someone in the company wants to get rid of you, they are going to find a way. Sometimes they are assholes and get you on a “technicality” like a survey result that you can’t prove or disprove or defend yourself. If you didn’t know, your “5 star” review of your Uber/Lyft driver is super important. You can use that as a weapon. However, they can rate you too, and if you get too many 1 star reviews, no driver will pick you up, regardless what level of car you select.

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So if you are the employee being rated, and you establish rapport with your new customer/client/friend, you can coerce them into giving you 5 stars. How? Ask them is there anything you can do for them before they leave the store to improve their 5 star experience. Maybe they wanted you to pair their phone to their car and you didn’t offer or ask? You are not a mind reader so ask before they rate you. When you are interacting let them know your goal is to provide a 5 star experience, and anything less is not acceptable for you. You can also let them know your job security and likelihood of helping them in the future depends on it. So, bad score, no employee. Got it. They get it. If they like you, they will use your name and say how amazing and awesome you are, and they are bringing all their friends and colleagues as new customers. Seriously, management loves hearing actual comments like that. I would tell my wireless customers I would give them free rollover minutes. <wink> Cost me nothing, but meant the world to them. It is also kind of important to know what you are being scored on so you meet or exceed those expectations. Like, did you offer financing? Join the membership rewards club? Ask for referrals?

 

So if you are working on your career plan, you should also track it. If you are collecting unemployment this is required. Use Microsoft Excel or some spreadsheet and copy and paste the job description, company information/history, in a way you can follow up and remember what you applied for. What if you apply for 25 jobs, all the same, and 10 call back and you have no clue what it is you applied. You want to sound smart and intelligent. Keep it in the cloud so you can update/review it on the go, or when you are about to walk into your in person interview. Having zero clue about the job or company shows you are unprepared and not a good fit. Use Glassdoor.com for additional company research. It is also a good idea to know who the owners/leadership are in the company.

 

 

 

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90 Day Probation Period

So before you get all excited about your W-2 permanent position, you need to know a few little things so you don’t screw up and lose your job. What? Yep, it happens. A lot of employees are actually “temp” with no benefits until their 90 day probationary period is over. That also includes your employee discount. We don’t want to hire someone who robs us blind with discounts and then quits. Yes it happens. Technically it is considered theft. Using your employee discount for someone who isn’t entitled is also theft, and also punishable by termination. Crazy right? It happens. Do people really get fired for employee discount situations? Yep, when I worked at the jewelry store my first week, 2 people got fired for giving the discount to a former employee. Yeah, diamonds have a high mark up so we are talking significant money. Personally I would have just made the current employee pay back the difference and not lose a good salesperson. HR is not always so black and white and managers do have discretion. Some people might say playing favorites, others … discrimination. Why did that white chick just get a slap on the wrist for the same offense when the _____ guy got fired? Manager discretion.

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So the reason for the probation period is a lot of employees simply don’t work out and within a short amount of time, 3 months, it can be determined that a hiring mistake was made and that employee needs to go. Hooray, unemployment! Nope. Wrong. You gotta work there for like, 18 months or longer to get anything from unemployment. AND you are employee at will, so you are screwed. You have no recourse. You can’t sue. You can’t get severance. You can get your box of “things” and be walked out the door never to enter again. Yeah it is kind of a sucky situation for the employee, but it is costly and expensive to hire employees, have them take advantage of resources and then end up leaving. It also is a way for companies to churn through employees with the “they are a dime a dozen” mentality. Companies like, … apple, Google, and Microsoft will always have thousands and thousands of people who WANT to work there. They don’t have a labor shortage crisis.

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So once you make it past the 90 days, you should get your healthcare, vision, dental, 401(k), bus pass, company credit card … AND now that you are in the system, if they want to get rid of you, they have to have a PIP, performance improvement plan, which, from my experience can take up to TWO years to successfully terminate an employee. Most companies have a 3 strike rule, but you are employee at will so keep that with a grain of salt. It starts with a verbal warning, a written warning, final written warning, termination. If you don’t show signs of improvement, they can terminate you and you get no unemployment. Just so you know, the 2 things that are easiest for the employer to prove and win is …. attendance and theft. Fuck up either one or both of those and you are gone. No call, no show, is also terminable offense. But if you have an arrest or jail time proof you might get out of it. Although I don’t recommend sharing any personal information with the employer. Need to know basis.

Moral of the story: This is your dream job. Put your best foot forward. Show everyone you are a great hiring choice/decision and not something they are going to regret. Don’t screw it up in your 90 days is all I have to say. Good luck and have fun making new friends and lunch buddies!

 

 

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401(k) or 403(b) Advice

Okay now that you are hired and you have made it through orientation, you will hopefully get a benefits package. If you are fortunate it will start immediately. If it is for profit, is it a 401(k), nonprofit is 403(b). Most normal people don’t know much about either of these, and the HR people flat out tell you – I aint telling you shit. I know, how rude. Well, if they give bad advice, that is like, called malpractice, and they aren’t insured, so they really don’t have any business telling you how to invest your hard earned cash. I have worked for a financial planner and know a few things about those cool HR benefits. I don’t have malpractice insurance, and it is ultimately up to YOU how you spend your salary, before and after taxes. You might be in a different stage in your life than your new friend from orientation. You might NEED all of your paycheck instead of getting it 50 years later. You need to do what is best for you. So, think of these “funds” this way. If it is aggressive growth and income, it is like the horse races. You will win big fast, but can also lose it fast. Moderate growth is like, federal bonds, city bonds, much safer. And low to no growth but super safe, is like a money market account at a bank. Only invest what you can afford to lose. No one is forcing you to invest or take advantage of that benefit. Chances are you’ll end up cashing it out when you have a life situation/crisis. And that is okay too. If they match 3%, and you an afford it, donate 3% to your rainy day fund. Congrats on that new job. And of course, seek out your inner circle for that investment advice. Or pay someone, that is always an option.

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Employee Referrals

Have you ever gotten a job interview/offer because someone you knew, recommended you? A friend, relative, prior co-worker, classmate, … someone who likes you, and wants to put their reputation out on the line for you? Having that employee recommendation, even if they don’t know your work performance, is key to getting great jobs. I am sure you have heard the phrase “It’s all who you know.” And this is true in any situation. An employer would rather hire someone with a little bit of background history that can be verified, rather than none at all. As I have mentioned in the past, some of those letters of reference or actual phone calls, might not be as truthful as employers would like them to be. Some of them all sound the same.  ______ (insert name) is hard working, loyal, dedicated, trustworthy, oh and an Eagle Scout! He coaches little league and is an outstanding choir member in the church. <rolls eyes> Gosh, that sounds just perfect. When can you start? No. Those letters are so fake it’s not even funny. I think it is expected that every employee act like a boy/girl scout. Strong work ethics, team player, gets along well with others. And if you’re not, then you need to start acting like it. We all know, not all employees are model employees. I can think of a few I’d fire in a heartbeat. IF you are giving that recommendation, please do not tell anyone that candidate is going through a divorce, a bankruptcy, or anything that might accidentally hurt his/her chances. Employers hear those things and they cringe.

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As a recruiter, we are looking for “talent”. There is a show called “America’s Got Talent”. If you haven’t seen an episode, you should check it out. Look at what those people can do and compare your own skill/talent. See there difference? Some things like typing super fast is a skill. Gotta say, going through hundreds and hundreds of resumes for ONE position, and you quickly start screening candidates out very quickly. Impressive skills and talent is what we are looking for in these marketing brochures of candidates. HOWEVER if just one of those resumes comes from a well liked employee, say manager or above, that resume will get more than a 10-20 second review. If there are gaps, or questions, those are sometimes overlooked. Why? Employee referral. And as I have mentioned in the past, when you get someone hired, you are the current employee, will get a monetary bonus added to your check, usually after 90 days. I can attest that I have received thousands in employee referrals. I would find an candidate at Best Buy and then I would tell them to put my name on the application, and I would spell it correctly, and tell them they would have a much better chance of getting hired if they say they knew me. Okay. Cool. So they just met me. They still knew me. 😉 And when they were asked HOW they met/knew me, they always said, “Mutual friends”. I could always say, “He seemed like a good guy.” You can’t place negligent hiring practices on someone who just said “He seemed like a good guy”. If HR didn’t ask the right questions, or do a drug test, that’s on them, not you. So, do you have a buddy or friend who you just LOVED working with daily? Yeah, me too. Go find him/her and see if he/she can get you a better job.

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If you have started your LinkedIn.com profile, you can start connecting with those professionals you have met in past positions and see what they are up to now. Whom have you kept in touch with from college or grad school? All the people I kept in touch with are in very different fields/industries. Terrific, if you got a job there you wouldn’t be in the same department, but you’d be great lunch buddies. I will do another article/blog on LinkedIn.com. Until that time, do NOT use that profile to apply for jobs … yet. Your employment profile is like building a house. You achievements and skills are the foundation, since that is what is important. Can you do the job and how fast can you do it? If you are still working on them, think to yourself, “Is that impressive?” Fluent in 4 languages. Yes, impressive. You have a social media following already? Impressive.

 

For those of you who are students, I always loved asking what the candidate’s G.P.A. was in high school and college if applicable. And then I would ask WHY. Verifiable. Don’t lie. If you are a nerdy brainy bookworm like me, … now is the time to brag about it. If they ask you to sell something, think about the strategy you are using, and don’t use price. I can sell it cheaper. No. It might be a luxury item they want you to sell, like cruises or diamonds. “I have a large network of professionals who are friends who I know will support my endeavors with a new company.”  You’re hired.

 

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Tell Me About A Time …

Okay boys and girls, it is story time, and I am not talking your magical fairy tale. I am talking about the interview question that forces you to find a concrete example to demonstrate whatever skills they are seeking. Your answers should detail your thought process, perhaps your decision making abilities, and of course, the actual question is looking at how fast you problem solve. Now if it something they are seeking that you don’t have, then it is going to be hard to fake. Okay for some old timers, like me, there was a movie back in the 80’s, called “Working Girl”. Loved it. Melanie and Sigourney Weaver starred in it, and one of the characters stole the idea/concept from the other. So, when confronted, the “idea” needed to be outlined, just to prove that it was HER idea. Oops.

If you headed up a project, an event, or something really big, you can easily talk about the process, the project time line, the critical path, the point of no return, … all those fun little challenges you were faced and overcame. If you had control over money, like say a budget, or fundraising, you should also bring this up in your answer. Why? You are there to prove what you did was beneficial for the company, and you can easily do it again. So if I can get $5k in sponsorships from local businesses for an event, chances are I can do even more for the next event.

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Many times you can outline your thoughts and ideas in an effective manner so they produce profits, simply by implementing a program awareness event. Okay back to my Walmart days, when I was a lowly hourly cashier I wanted to be part of the management team. When I applied someone else always got it. My store director said in order to be a manager, you need to be a leader. Not all managers are leaders, but I ONLY promote leaders to managers. I felt like I was sitting at the sphinx with some unsolvable riddle. I happened to be in a management course in college at the time, and using some of the things I learned, I started a stakeholders committee and recruited a few managers and friends to join. We/I found ways to save money, make money and increase store traffic with a meager $100 monthly budget. Eventually I did get promoted.

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Here is another secret in your interviewing arsenal. The more stories and examples you tell in your interview, the more likely you are going to be remembered. Some people try to use humor in the interview. Don’t. You are not applying to be a stand up comedian. Your sense of humor may mistakenly be misinterpreted. Impress that person with what you have done, can do, and will do. If that person is impressed, he/she will move you forward in the interviewing process quickly. Mostly likely there are dozens if not hundreds of jobs/interviews to complete. Think how many positions are open at Amazon. Wow. Hundreds, if not thousands worldwide. I always tell candidates that they need to tell the employer “Hire me. I want to work here. I see myself growing with this company. I want this job.”

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And as always, the job you are applying for RIGHT NOW, as you talk to that interviewer, IS your dream job. For now, all you can do is dream about being employed, and this might be it. So act like it, show enthusiasm, and ask for the job. And remember, 20k more boomers retired this weekend. Go get their job!

 

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