Money Talks …

Alrighty, let’s talk about money. We ALL want it. That is what drives us to get up every day and do the same boring/challenging tasks in our “career”. Is it satisfying? Sometimes. But at the end of the day it all comes down to money. You are there to make it, earn it, save it, spend it. Money is the one thing that you are always told not to talk about in the interview, UNTIL it is the right time. Now I do understand that there are HR people/hiring managers that do not always follow this protocol. Sometimes the employer just wants to screen OUT anyone who shouldn’t be there and they do that by asking your current salary and your requirements. If you are applying for a job that pays $80k a year but you only made $40k, then you might not be quite ready for job of such magnitude. Some might say, you are in over your head.

Now I am going to have the conversation with you that is totally going to blow your mind away. YOU think you are worth X amount of money per hour, or per year. How did you come up with that number? Someone told you. Probably a salary report or maybe Google, or maybe it was Glassdoors.com that actually gives you real salary information as employees can post that information. Oh how cool is THAT? So, before you even decide you want to work there you can determine if it is going to meet your salary expectations. If you didn’t know, there are 2080 working hours in the year. Take that times your hourly rate and you get your annual salary. Some people think weekly, others bi weekly, and some even monthly. i.e. I get paid $5000 a month, or roughly $60k a year. 5×12=60. $60k divided by 2080 = $28.85 an hour. Can you live on that amount of money? Employers will sometimes try to trick you into thinking your salary is more than it really is by using big numbers. Don’t be fooled. Also keep in mind that Uncle Sam is going to take a minimum of 28% for federal, state, and FICA (social security) and any local taxes. So your big salary all of the sudden isn’t so big. $5k a month, after taxes actually is only a little over $3k a month, and that really isn’t a huge amount. The more you make the more the government takes. Things like an IRA are ways that you can reduce your taxable income. Knowing your take home amount is also really important.

So knowing your value is extremely important. So, you take a kid who is 18, making minimum wage flipping burgers, who by many employers isn’t worth a very high salary right? I take him under my wing and mentor him for 6 weeks and train him how to build a WordPress website in a day and create a Facebook business page using Ad Manager and all of the sudden this “kid” is also worth $60k a year. He doesn’t have a tech degree, and barely if at all, a high school diploma. Now, how do you justify this guy’s $60k salary? Because he can now go out, market himself as a designer, and charge the same hourly rates as the professionals, just like me. Boom. Mic drop. Just because you DIDN’T make that much before, does NOT mean you are not worth it now.

So you’ve made it to the final interview. Flew past HR no problem, clicked with the hiring manager and now the key decision maker is in your face. He/she might be an executive, the owner, a managing director, … someone who has monetary authority for the company. If you get to this person right away, like at a picnic, bbq, wedding, you will have a lot more bargaining power. HR people and hiring managers usually do not have any power over salary. When the offer is presented, HR simply is the middle man. If the offer is not what is stated with the key, then you need to get him/her on the horn and start barking. Every job has a range. You are usually given/offered the bottom lower end of that range, UNLESS you can prove you are worth more. This is where your negotiation skills are instrumental in your higher paid salary. I have negotiated 90 day raises after performance has been evaluated and an increase in new business has been demonstrated. If I do , then you will reward me with compensation of _. Yes, this really does happen. If you are THE final candidate, then they want you. They want you really bad. AND they are willing to pay for it. They will never retract the opening offer. You need to think of it as as an opening big on a house. They start, you counter. You come to a happy middle somewhere. This is where you get your extra personal day. Flexible schedule, working from home, company laptop/smartphone/iPad, expense account, … you get the idea. When I negotiated my low salary at the Bar Association, I managed to start my 403(b) retirement immediately, rather than waiting a year. Who knew you could bypass that rule? Me. It came to over 3k in “benefits” not paid by the payroll. The 2nd largest office next to the emergency exit was also a nice perk. If you have to pay for parking, will the company pick that up? Again, not paid from payroll, but a different expense account. Just like in the real estate industry, you can implement the “Is this your best and final offer?” and see what they say. Most of the time they will say “No, that is not the best and final, what did you have in mind?” Before you go into any interview negotiation, you need to practice. Sell something to a friend and start arguing/debating price. This is how it works. You have to be confident in your abilities and skills. Employees who make money or save money are going to get better salaries than those who can’t detail why they are worth more money.

Money is a huge motivator for everyone. As a client once told me, “I have the TMAI philosophy.” Throw money at it. The more you throw, the more likely the problem will just magically solve itself or go away. Sales are down? Throw cash bonuses as floor sales day prizes. People will respond positively. Ask if there are bonuses. No? Then let’s start one now.

And my favorite quote from Jerry McGuire … “SHOW ME THE MONEY!”

Real Life Networking

Hey it is the holiday weekend in the USA, and many people will be venturing out for some good ole Memorial Day bbq’s. So this weekend instead of being the social butterfly and talking to everyone, why don’t you listen to other people introduce themselves? What do their 30 second commercials sound like? If you want to use it as a chance to practice your own introduction that’s cool, but just remember, every person knows someone who might be able to hire you. In between projects. Don’t forget it. While you are at it, talk about your future plans/goals. If you are planting a seed, then reaffirm your commitment, creativity, loyalty, … all those little things they want out of that preferred candidate. You can even use my blog as a talking point. “Hey I have been working on my career plan getting some awesome advice and wisdom from a former HR professor.” And you can take it from there. Who knows you might find a new friend that also needs help in the career arena? You could quickly go from student to teacher as you simply relay what you’ve learned.

If you have a master’s degree, don’t forget to let people know. Hey, not everyone goes around saying I have a master’s in something. I’ll admit, the first time I saw MBA after a person’s name on a business card, … I was impressed. If you are chasing your dream, … that has goals attached, your enthusiasm and energy will definitely show. Although, keep in mind, many people go to social functions and hardly ever talk about their job. Some of them really try to get away from it because they hate it so much. Now if you are not a social butterfly and you actually get anxious from these types of situations, I get you. I mean, how many crappy weddings have you been forced to go that you only knew the unattainable bride or groom? Exactly.

If you have to make the best of it, you should always have a few ice breakers in your back pocket. Again, do not talk politics or anything that will get things in a heated discussion. I like to use movies. Everyone watches movies. Everyone has something to say about the ones they like. Television shows are also great talking points. Haven’t you had a favorite television show you liked so much you just wanted to talk about it, but none of your friends watched it? Yeah, me too. There are groups on Facebook that all they do is talk about the show. Crazy right? Fanatics is what I like to call it.

Remember, the more you have in common with whoever that person is, the more likely they are going to remember you, like you, and be willing to recommend you for a foot in the door in their company. So don’t be stupid and get drunk and make an idiot of yourself … if you are looking for a better tomorrow.

And if you have Disney+, Cruella is a cute little fun movie in the fashion world. Look out Miranda Priestly, this one is to die for. Remember Cruella is the villain in the Disney world.

One Word.

If there was just ONE word that best describes you, what would that one word be? This used to be one of my favorite questions, as it really gets people to think, fast, and try to be creative. I will let you in on a little secret. If you choose “nice” as your word you just eliminated yourself. The English language is comprised of thousands of words. Pick one that makes you stand out. There really isn’t any “wrong” words you can pick, but remember if you are being asked these questions, then so is everyone else. Does the manager want to hire a nice team member or a … dynamic, sensational, altruistic, … you see the difference? At the end of the day when all the applications are being reviewed again, along with the telephone notes, there are certainly going to be candidates that shine. Usually what happens is after you give that magical word, the interviewer is going to ask “why?”. So start selling “nice” against your competition.

Also a word of advice, do not swear in an interview. I know you think you and your new HR BFF get along SO well, but … you’re wrong. He/she is not your BFF and once you drop that F bomb, you just eliminated yourself. Yes, candidates have done this, still do this, and will continue to do this. Don’t do it. I’m pretty sure in every single HR book I have ever read, they never tell you to not swear. I swear too, just never in an interview. Not everyone was trained/educated the same. Okay, I am sure that there are some small businesses with 3 employees that talk however they want, but you are not applying for those jobs. So now that you have your word, your goal is to go to 10 people who know you and ask them to give you 10 words. You will be really surprised what they say. Your spouse/SO will have some choice words. Put all the words on one sheet and see which ones come up a lot. Why? Which ones are not so great words? Those are your weaknesses. You will be asked that question too. You also now have 100 words that you can use to incorporate into your action statements. What words describe you? Your personality? Your work ethic? The whole “word” thing was an actual assignment I made my students complete and then write an essay about it. The whole point was that your perception of who you are as a worker, is not always the same as those around you.

So just for fun, since I am writing about jobs and giving advice, I decided to activate a couple of job profiles on some websites. I used LinkedIn.com and Indeed.com, just to see what is out there, what kind of jobs need filled and with LinkedIn you can also see how many people have applied, which tells you a lot about the job. Again, not really looking for a job, and I already have had 4 employers contact me and someone in my personal network who thought of me for a job. So if you didn’t know, LinkedIn is the new Monster.com. In the 90’s and 2000’s everyone used monster. I used it. It was great. I can think of lots of interviews and job offers I received all using monster. But things have changed and now you can put so much more in your profile, including your picture and even testimonials saying how great you are. Your memberships and group affiliations also tell a lot about a candidate, which is something you typically don’t have on a resume. With LinkedIn all you have to do is click a setting that you are open/looking for a new job and all of the sudden you are showing up in employers search results. Your keywords in your profiles/past jobs are going to be instrumental in your success. Depending on how quickly you want to get hired, you might be interested in their pay version, called premium. I think there is a trial version, so you should definitely do it for free while you can.

Unlike my students who I could strike the fear of failure if they didn’t do the exercises, your only motivation is limited to your own personal reality, and hopes of improving it. Believe it or not, but people actually do these things, talk to people and find new jobs/opportunities every single day. Regardless the company, or the situation, employers are always looking for really good people to join them as team members. Have you ever been at a company and someone from the “outside” got hired for a new position and is paid some stupid ridiculous highly paid salary? What about when your company then recruits all his/her buddies from past companies? And then pays them employee referrals? Yeah, it just keeps getting worse,… for you. So why can’t YOU be that person that gets recruited? Oh, you didn’t tell your network you were looking. Okay. Fair enough. Go do it. Today. No one is forcing you to stay in a bad situation, … except you. Got that one word yet?

In Between Projects

Don’t you just love it when you are in a social setting and that inevitable question comes up, “So, what you do for a living? Where do you work?” You may not recognize it at first, but it is also the “Tell me about yourself” opening statement in every single interview. I have also used this as the “So, who exactly IS (insert your name)? Sometimes someone will give you a brief introduction. Many times they are not actually prepared and just ramble on about their last job. Now if you are unemployed, like millions of people right now, you might have a hard time identifying with your job. Some people can’t remove themselves from their job and even when it doesn’t matter they tell you they are a __ (lawyer, doctor, cop, etc.). You can also say you are an aspiring (YouTuber, influencer, artist, actor, singer, … you get the idea).

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So rather than telling new people you aren’t working, let people know you are “open to new clients/opportunities”. Ah, such a classy way to say that you are an independent kick ass sales person. I have also found that people who just choose not to work find all kinds of ways to identify themselves. Now you can come up with as many impressive titles, companies, or whatever you like to make yourself feel good about yourself. Most of the time, people are just looking for something interesting to talk about and to find some sort of a connection. This is true in social settings and true in work place hiring. Just remember, when you are in a social setting you might accidentally be talking to someone who is looking to hire someone … just like you. I can think of dozens of times where someone met someone’s friend, … or spouse, and the next thing you know they are working at the same company or as a vendor for that company. Dude, life is all about who you know, who likes you and who is willing to recommend you. That goes for working relationships and future business. You might be that self-employed ________ that is going to come to the rescue. When I was actively soliciting new website customers I would build the website that I was selling on one of my servers and present it to the prospect. For some reason people like to see what they are getting before they give you any money. Funny right? So sometimes when you say you are in between projects, that will open the door of conversation for you to actually talk about what those projects are/were. Projects like something that require a project manager, such as hosting a big event can leave you talking for days. Other projects like organizing your garage also count. They show hard work, organization … the list goes on. You should be able to think of the ways you have positively influenced the corporate objectives of the jobs you have held. Lots of things can never really be proven, but if you can discuss some of the highlights and details that your role had, that is all it takes to convince the interviewer.

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Your goal today is to get your notebook and fill it full of projects that you want to talk about in interviews, and in social settings. Talk casually but also discuss things like metrics. Employers want to hire people that are going to make positive contributions to the overall success of the organization.

Career Coaching

Have you ever had professional career coaching? I mean, other than me. Sat down with someone and talked about your goals, your background, gotten honest feedback on your resume, cover letter, interviewing skills? Have you ever done a mock interview where an HR person actually gives you feedback on “how you did”? Just so you know, … “most” candidates think they did great in an interview, and they also think they will make it to the next round in the interview process. Sadly many of those candidates are overconfident in their interviewing skills and only 10% move forward. 1 in 10. Most people fall into the 90% disqualified, they don’t get called and they wonder why they can’t get a job.

I can clue you in on some HR secrets. I have coached thousands of individuals. Real friends have done the same and after listening carefully I can always tell if/when the candidate was eliminated. It’s almost like a game for me. I coached my own mom and told her she wasn’t a candidate anymore for a job she really didn’t even want. She wasn’t happy and like most candidates got defensive. She wanted to know how I knew that she wasn’t moving forward. So I got in her face and asked, “Did she ask what your time table looks like for this week? Or next week? Did she ask who else you’ve talked to in the industry? Who have you been interviewing with? What your salary range is? No. Okay, then she doesn’t care because it’s not going to be you.” Sure it hurts to hear you aren’t going to get the dream job you thought you were perfect for, but the truth is you weren’t a good, great or fantastic, perfect fit for the job. Someone else is, and many times that HR person and the hiring manager is waiting for the perfect person, so they don’t have to train him/her. He/she might be a breath of fresh air with new contacts that will rejuvenate the business and bring in new streams of revenue. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times a manager says he/she will know the right person when they meet him. Like, it’s magic or chemistry. What they really are saying, secretly, is they want to hire someone that is a lot like them. Same background, personality, intelligence, … you get the idea. As much as I hate to say it, many times in the HR department there is all kinds of illegal shop talk that is going on.

True story, I had a manager said she needed a new and to go onto Monster.com and find some candidates. I asked “What about internal candidates? Any I should review?” and she said no, they were all trash. Nice. And she also said she didn’t want anyone with kids because she just dealt with 2 employees with daycare bullshit issues. Wow. Okay, well, I can certainly find out if candidates have kids. Did you know HR people sometimes use props in their office, like a picture frame of a couple of kids. Yeah, I had one with my nephew. Hey he looks like my kid. I never said he was my kid, but you just volunteered that you have 4 at home, all under the age of 7. And you’re single. Because you told me. Hmm, sounds like a tough decision since the job is a 50+ hour a week job. Next. Hey, that’s how it works sometimes. Is it fair? No. Remember, HR is not your friend, unless you are the owner of the company. They are paid to protect the employer, find talent and prevent employee litigation. Do not tell them personal information, health information, financial issues, religion, and I have to say it, politics. They are NOT your new best friend. They are looking at you like you are a potential problem or an asset. Do not give them a reason to not hire you. Missing work is a big reason. You may be awesome at attendance, but your ___(put any relative here) could be dying and you might be gone because of that. Work doesn’t get completed when employees are missing.

So where am I going with this blog today? Well, your goal today is to find someone IN your personal network who is a hiring manager. You are going to go to that person and ask for a mock interview. You are going to go through the entire process and he/she will then tell you what you did great, what you need to work on and what you need to leave out of your interview. If you don’t have someone, then go find someone. I am not going to coach you on what you need to say, … in this first round. You need to do your best and then write down the results in your notebook. You know, the one you have been using to do all these exercises. And then later, I am going to write an article on how to make it to the next round, what not to say to accidentally get cut, and how to negotiate a better salary. It is perfectly okay to go into your final interview with a laundry list of things you want in your job/career. It doesn’t hurt to ask, and who knows you might even get some of your wish list. Be prepared and give that person a real job description of a job you want and he/she should be able to look at it and give you a run for your money. This should be the first interview with the hiring manager, not HR and not the key decision maker. So do not ask or talk about salary in this interview. If he/she does ask about your requirements, just smile and say they are negotiable of course. If you appear too interested in money they might not want your sudden enthusiasm. Oh, you’re just here for a paycheck. Uhm, okay. We all are, but we don’t want to appear that is what is driving us.

And if you need some help with a script, “Hey it’s Aaron. I’m doing an HR project and I need an actual hiring manager to interview me so I can improve my skills for when I have the real thing. Help a brother out?” (Do not give this person your resume … only talk about what is on it in the interview. Only “mock apply” for jobs your are qualified so he/she can ask questions directly from the job description. I have interviewed candidates without their resume, knowing that HR has already screened them to make it to that round.) You are NOT secretly trying to get a job from this person, you only want valuable feedback. And remember, have fun. Use this as an in person opportunity to get together with someone.

You’re Fired. Hire Yourself.

Have you ever been terminated from a job that was not by your choice? Perhaps it was just a corporate lay-off, or … workforce reduction due to decline in sales. Here’s a little HR secret. We sometimes terminate an employee, and tell them it was a downsizing, … let’s keep this confidential as to not ruin your future job prospecting efforts, and it really was just a bold face lie to get rid of an employee. Oh sure he/she will get unemployment, but that is why the company has unemployment insurance. Technically almost everyone is employee at will, that is if they get a W2 form. This means you can be terminated for no reason and you as the employee have no recourse. Right now, I know there are millions of people who are unemployed or as I like to say, looking for a better tomorrow. I actually thought that would be a good name for a book. BUT people don’t read books, they read blogs.

So, now that you are unemployed, underemployed, or just living off the government as long as you can … at some point you will need to think about some type of income to keep that lifestyle of yours going. Last I checked almost every fast food restaurant is starting people at almost $15 an hour. But in Denver, that is the normal starting wage. Why? Denver is super expensive to live. So the one thing that they never teach you in school is the occupation of being self-employed. Now if you go into a trade school, and get additional education in an area that might require a license, then they “might” kind of teach you about going out on your own. When I was at the Bar Association we actually did a workshop called “Hanging Your Shingle”, which was a 3 day intensive training from other industries to help you start being a small business owner, which is what a lot of lawyers eventually do when they have enough clients … or no clients. Remember, if you have a skill an employer is willing to pay for, then why not still sell that skill to the actual client/customer?

So, if you were a plumber or a beautician, then you could easily be self employed. You build a Facebook business page, build a website, set your prices for your services and then tell EVERYONE to please use you for ___. Does it always work out that way? Sometimes, yes, it does. Remember the rule of 1000 fans? If you have 1000 loyal, dedicated fans, you can make a living as a self employed … we will say artist (since that is what I am). All you have to do is keep in good communication with those fans and when you produce a new _ (book, song, painting, digital poster), all of your fans will buy it and you will see a paycheck.

DeviantArt.com makes it really easy for artists to publish their work. I’ve used it, and I’m on there. Many of my fans have downloaded and purchased my artwork. Wow, how cool is that? Now one of the things about certain fields, is it is really easy to produce ONE item and sell it a million times. Like a song, book or digital artwork. If you are doing one off for each customer, you will have a very limited ability to create a lot of wealth. There are thousands of individuals that become owners or a company and only know how to do their trade, and the things like accounting, legal, HR, marketing, social media, website, payroll, are all outsourced to another company that specializes in it. Some people will start small with some sort of accounting software, others may just use a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to track and document things.

The reality is you need to register your company name, or sole proprietorship, get a tax ID if you are not doing sole. Get a business checking account. Technically you are ready for business. You can fix someone’s ____ and say “That’ll be $50.” Design someone a logo or business card and charge $75. Cater someone’s wedding and collect a deposit via Paypal after you create a free invoice through their website. Btw, I use Paypal for all my website invoicing. It makes it super easy, looks professional and it emails it to your client, who can turn around and pay you instantly online. Just remember though, if you use Paypal, they take a percentage. If your customer pays by check you keep it all. If you have your website with E-commerce, you can create buttons, packages, items for sale and have it link to Paypal. So maybe you have a subscription or monthly fee you can charge your customers, rather than having them pay all at once. You can do all kinds of things through your website to earn revenue while you are off doing something else. You might be like Ben Shapiro and have EXCLUSIVE content only for subscribers. He is entertaining for sure, but I don’t learn anything from him and I wouldn’t pay to hear more rants and raves. Don’t get me wrong, I really like watching his videos … for free.

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I was once at a seminar and I heard the speaker say that no one would hire him. He had a variety of reasons, but he was overqualified and he was worth too much money. I get it, people used to tell me that because of my MBA. So he said he hired himself and started his own business. HE became the boss, and he went knocking on doors to get customers. Cold calling. It sucks but it works. If you are friendly and like people then this should be easy. Just remember though, prospecting IS just as hard or harder than the work itself. Networking, cold calling, knocking on doors, after hours cocktail networking meetings are all part of the requirements if you want to be self-employed/owner. You might find you work more as the owner than when you were an hourly employee. So one thing to think about is your accounting system. Do you require payment up front? Half now, half when delivered? Send them a bill that is due immediately or 10 days later? Cash, check, charge, Paypal, Venmo, Bitcoin, on favor, pro-bono, charitable contribution? All of those are possibilities and you need to think about how much finance you need to operate and live successfully. The only person looking out for you is you. Unless you get financing from an investor who you are willing to share your profits forever. That investor might be mom or dad. Whatever you company or trade is, you still need to have a business plan and a marketing plan. These can be Googled for more information, but they are important. Money is always important so don’t go into personal credit card debt. Start small and simple and work your way up, like Bill Gates did.

Your objective this week is to find the dream company that you want to work one day. What do current employees say about it, what do former employees say? Wow, there is a website that you can totally slam your past employer and the HR person reads it. It is called Glassdoor.com. If you are bored, go look up your past jobs and post a review. If you are looking for your dream job, what DO apple employees and Google geeks say? Inquiring minds want to know. Do not apply. Copy and paste that company into a new document. If you are thinking about starting a new business, think about WHO your customers are, and where are you going to find them.

What Motivates You?

So I thought I would hit on some basic interview questions that you are certainly going to be asked in your interviews. I actually used to ask this question with every single graduating senior when I taught at the college. You would actually be amazed at the answers. I would also phrase it as “What is your motivation for looking for a new job?” There are always issues/problems at current jobs and many times you can identify a problem in a past/current job and prevent it from happening again in this one.

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Example. A hiring manager comes to me as the HR business partner and asks a serious question. “I have a candidate I really like, but she has really big boobs and I am afraid that the guys are going to be a problem. AND she is currently suing her current boss for sexual harassment, because of her boobs. They aren’t real.” Wow. Amazing the things people say in an interview. Well, we all know the professional answer is we have to qualify and screen candidates based on their skills and not their looks. I looked at him and said “Are you crazy? If you hire her and she gets any issues, I will say that you consulted me and against my advisement of potential litigation, my risk management assessment was to find a male candidate. Your hiring was negligent.”

If you haven’t heard it before, I will tell you now, that most employees leave jobs for a couple of reasons. Money. They hate their boss/co-worker(s). Poor management/leadership. It is not in line with their career goals. So, think about those and decide which of those you quit jobs in the past. There is also something that really drives and motivates someone to leave a job. Anger. Something in the job really, really pissed off an employee that he/she will make it a mission in life to get the hell out of there. I know of past employees who held grudges to this day. You might be a careless manager and say something ignorant to an employee and while they may not say anything to your face, trust me, they will slam you in their exit interview. Some employees will be super sweet to your face and then they will make bold face lies about you just to get back at you. I have heard them and usually can see right through to the truth. Sure there are bad managers, we all know that. And those managers get reprimanded and performance managed as well. Even store managers get put on probation. I can think of a ton of managers who got fired. As I have told many customers and employees, everyone … yes, everyone reports to someone, so be careful or you might find yourself in a world of trouble. True story, once I had an attorney personally threaten me at Best Buy. Said he was going to sue the pants off of me because I wouldn’t take his return and give him his money back. Whoa. I took a step back, crossed my arms and said, “Oh really counselor. Can you please tell me your attorney registration number? I am sure the ethics committee will be very interested to hear of this behavior in public. Oh, … how do I know about that? Yeah, I work for the Bar Association and you have rules you have to follow.” He was silent. His eyes wide open and he turned around and walked out, … with his return, with no receipt. I turned to my the employee who called for the manager and said “Fucking attorney. I bet he was bullied in school and try to bully me into doing it.” Like I said, everyone reports to someone.

From an HR perspective it is good to know what motivates an employee so they will perform better. Example. If the team reaches _____ goal/metric, we will all go to a night out at Dave & Busters on the company. Free food and drinks for everyone! For some people that is a great motivator. Others are like, “Meh, show me the money.” Now if you are somewhere at the bottom of organizational chart, you might be motivated by intrinsic items, like a crappy promotion with a shitty office with no window. No money. Title only. Or you might get a window if you are considered a manager, again no money. This is very common, so be prepared. What other “benefits” do you want that will motivate you that are not money. Trust me on this one. If you can negotiate these things in writing from the very beginning you are off to an amazing start. I once asked for one day a quarter as a personal day that I could use for grad school projects. Since I had to travel for work, unpaid, this seemed acceptable. Until the boss realized I basically just got an extra week when you tack it onto a holiday. Bam. Mic drop. Score.

As you created your dream job you should have had a list of things that are part of this imaginary dream job. Office, work from home, gym membership, onsite daycare, 3 weeks vacation, use of the company jet and condos, an obnoxiously overpaid high salary, … you get the idea. Many of these things on the list “might” be one of your motivators. And of course, don’t forget the sappy predictable HR answer, “Recognition”. If you are working on your doctorate, or getting published in a journal this is a terrific answer. Mail room clerk, not so much.

Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend, what are YOU doing now that you are vaccinated? It’s gonna be CRAZY everywhere! Smoking some ribs and baked beans myself. Mmmmm. Ribs. Smoked ribs motivate me.

Dream Job

Ahhh, the dream job question. As a staffing person (you can use whatever title you like) there are some things that makes your job a little easier. For me I wanted to know what was that person’s dream … job. As simple as it sounds, some people don’t have one, don’t know what it is, and couldn’t begin to detail what is important in it. Why is this important? This secretly is reworded as “Where do you see yourself in the company in 5 years? Are you management material? Is this a stepping stone for you? Are you just using us for a paycheck until you get the real job you want? What are your career goals?” Damn. Yes, all these things are secretly hidden in this question, and how you answer it, what you say can either help or hinder you in the interview. Explain. Okay. I am hiring for a _____ at Best Buy, a retail electronic store. Candidate tells me he wants to open a restaurant bar one day and sing in the karaoke. How long do you think this candidate is going to stay working in retail? Exactly. Not very long at all. Next candidate please.

Do you see how I just saved a bad hire? Karaoke guy has no intention on making a career and putting his best foot forward in helping our customers/business/sales revenue. He would be in the media department singing. If I DID hire him and 6 months later he quits or gets fired for a multitude of performance issues, he can always say “I told you when you hired me I wanted to run a restaurant, not work in retail. This doesn’t align with my career goals and I would never be happy working here.” Yep, he is right. Hey some people just want a temporary gig to get them by until the real job comes along. Great, that is fantastic. Go do it somewhere else. It is costly, expensive and time consuming to constantly train and retrain employees over and over again. Ideally, you hire an employee and they are there for 10 or 15 years. It does happen. It is okay to tell the interviewers that one day you hope to be part of the executive management team. It shows drive, goals and a career path. And unless you are looking to BE the interviewer, do not say “Your job.” If you want the job, you are going to tell that hiring/HR person “It has always been a dream of mine to work at _, and one day join the ranks of management.” You do NOT need to tell them that you are secretly at _ looking for work at one of your vendors/competitors or whatever. Seriously, do not tell them that. People are stupid and tell shit like this in interviews. Don’t be stupid. Answer with THE most impressive answer possible.

Like most companies, many positions are promoted jobs, years of service, contributions to the company, things like that. I am sure you have heard of “getting your foot in the door” and “paying your dues”. This means you take a job you really don’t LOVE, but you are willing to do until you get promoted. Some people start working in the mail room, delivering and sorting company postal mail. Very boring. Remember Transformers? The kid had to work at some crappy job that his girlfriend’s boss got for him. For me, as you know, it was working at Taco Johns. Yeah, real fun scraping gum off the drive thru asphalt and picking up trash in the dark after close. No wait, it was cleaning the greasy, disgusting food prep pans for hours of dishwashing chores. Fuck I hated that job.

It taught me that I will work hard, educate myself and never have to say “Hi, is this for here or to go?” Worst boss ever. Worst customers ever. Horrible hours. Drive thru stayed open until 1 a.m. Oh and not to mention my disgusting brown uniform would stink to high heaven. I had to rip it off as soon as I walked out the door so I wouldn’t stink up my car. All that grease and fried foods gets on you, your clothes, your face, hair. It was awful. So back in the days of running the drive thru, I would dream of a job where I sat at a desk, in clean clothes, not dealing with customers yelling at me for more hot sauce, … and it would be in an office. A real office. When I was being punished with cutting 100 pounds of onions, I would literally be crying for a new food free occupation. Sadly for me, when you are only 16 your only options are fast food or some retail slave service. Dream job. Not that. And for the record I was the asshole that dumped an entire bag of hot potato oles all over your already soggy tacos. Your sauce is at the bottom of the bag. Extra hot. And yes, my crappy $3.35 an hour job was still a real job.

So, think about some of the things you hate about your current situation, and then what are some of the things you desire. Write them on a separate piece of paper. Once you define the “perks”, think about what actual jobs have those qualities. If no one will hire you, you can always hire yourself. It is called being “self-employed”. You create something or offer a service and you decide how much you charge. You choose your working hours. Your only boss is your current paying customer. Some people can start small and clean houses for $___ an hour, or build something, or cook something … Etsy is full of these people.

James Ray taught me to create MSI’s. Multiple streams of income. Your spouse, … is a source of your income. Your rental property, Etsy store, Air B&B, Turo car, catering/baking, photography, …. whatever … are all sources of other income. Everyone has an extra room. Rent it out cheap online and make some extra money. When I build my dream home, it will have lots of extra guest rooms just for that reason. With that dream home, can build a dream job. Meet new people, get paid, make them an awesome gourmet dinner and bask in the gorgeous Florida sun. That would be … living the dream.

Keep working on your action statements, along with defining your dream job. What is impressive about what you just wrote. It that a steal from your job description? Shame on you. No one cares about duties. Write down something that makes you an asset. “I spearheaded an internal committee called Voice of the Employee to reduce turnover and increase job satisfaction.” Really? Oh yeah, we sat at Starbucks every week, expensed our lavish drinks and bitched about management. We loved it.

Reasons for Immediate Disqualification

Yes. Yes. No. No. Maybe. Maybe. Yes. Yes. Yes. So, which ones make it to the next round?

Would you like to know the number one reason why candidates get disqualified in the screening process? Oh you think you know it all right? You have a 100% batting average. Send out 1 resume, you get 1 call, 1 offer and a corner office right? Wrong. It never works that way for anyone. So I had a friend who was having a really hard time getting an interview. Keep in mind this was years and years ago. So I took a look at the resume and it was just awful. I smiled and said there was definitely some room for improvement, and we could probably consolidate the 4 pages into 1. So why did my friend get disqualified? Well believe it or not, he was cut in the first round due to a couple of big mistakes. 1 page should sell you nicely. 2 pages and you are some kind of nerd. Dude, I have been working since the 80’s and “I” have 1 page. So can you. He was trying to get a job by listing every single piece of information about himself. He changed tense. He wrote in first person and third person, in the same sentence. He spelled manager as manger. Boom. Next. I redid his resume and amazingly he actually got an interview. He later relayed that his original 4 page resume was attached to the new one in the HR manager’s office. He was ashamed and confessed to the HR manager he got professional help on his resume. He got an interview an eventually got an offer. His honestly is what won them over.

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Everyone lies. Don’t do it on your resume or cover letter. If/when you get caught you WILL get terminated. In my profession I have been so lucky to get to do ALL the HR legwork in hiring candidates. Yes, that means background and educational credential checks. I can’t begin to tell you how easy it is to find out information on someone when you have a resume in hand. Lying about your degree is probably up there as far as lies, other than titles, and falsification of duties/responsibilities. If you are a general manager and had to do all kinds of shitty jobs, you don’t list each of those titles as jobs. HR managers know what a general manager does. Remember, it is HR that writes all those job descriptions, does the performance evaluation and promotes from within the company. They know a lot of stuff. We know that bigger titles sometimes mean smaller salaries. We know that non-profit employees get screwed. Don’t give false salaries that you cannot back up. I had an employer who wanted proof that I made my prior salary. I showed him my W-2 form and he shut up.

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When you leave a company there are a few things that HR CAN and will tell the new employer. The call will goes something like this: “Hey, this is Aaron over in HR at store 1111_, doing an employment check on __.” (If it is internal from one store to another, it might go like this). RESPONSE: “Dates of employment are _ to __. Starting title and salary was $ final salary and ending title was $_, no performance issues, no attendance issues, is rehirable.” Very standard phone call, and I can say that is exactly how I answered those calls for prior employees. If I didn’t have all the information, I might say “I can’t disclose that information but I can verify what you have is correct or invalid. What dates and titles do you have?” Of course, I could always get classified information out of the other HR person, after all we played on the same team. So I might say something like, “Say, _ is a final top 3 and we really like him. Is there anything you might say off the record so we don’t make a bad hiring decision? I’d hate to be negligent in my questioning and saved us a mistake.” Surprise, sometimes that person you are taking to might be a best friend of that candidate, and we know they will say anything for a BFF. Like accidentally saying that person has a ___ problem. Oops. Yes, it happens. Bottom line, don’t lie. You have plenty of awesome, marketable, sellable mad skills. Start by using them as you create your achievement statements.

On a side note: If you are participating in this job search series, please stop sending out ANY resumes and cover letters until the new one has been created. You only have so many target jobs you can impress and you want to do it with your best foot forward. You have this weekend to finish parts 1 & 2. You will need to define your dream job, as you should be tailoring your skills to the job you want and have the skills THEY want.

I am human and make mistakes. Your resume should not have a single mistake. An extra space, a period or comma missing will be your doom. And on a positive note, I was out in public yesterday, mask free! It was so liberating to laugh and smile in public once again.

Resume Achievements

So now that I can quickly disqualify you because you are not a right fit, based on your overview, OR I like what I read and I want to know more. Such as, what are the “things” that you can do that you are most proud? Some people are highly decorated and there are many things that are super impressive about them. But what about you? What have you done in your professional life as well as your personal life that you can share with an employer? Are you on any committees? Part of any other organizations? Do you hold any titles or certifications? Your goal today is to start writing down as many things about your skills that you want to advertise. Software, hardware, communication skills. I’m a publisher, editor (sometimes) writer/author (all the time), and reader. Not everyone has ALL of those skills. Some people literally can’t read. As an older person, I am starting to be one of them. Small text on my phone, beauty products, manuals are sometimes more than challenging. Probably the number one reason I compose in a huge font. I actually use Header4, which makes it this size. Some people, like Trump, don’t know how to click a drop down box and compose in a larger font. Yeah, I know, crazy. If people can’t read it due to size, they won’t even try.

So you really need a section in your resume that highlights your achievements, or your resume bragging/talking points. Remember, you can direct how your interview is going to transpire based upon the things you tell them in your action statements. So, for instance, one of the things that I am proud of, that is not on social media, is the fact that I raised over a thousand dollars in fundraising for the suicide prevention organization and I had to walk 20 miles overnight for their walkathon. Of course this is interesting and something that someone who is reading will want to know more. So your statements need to highlight what you are capable of doing. Human resources will respond to the correct verbiage on your resume. So understand and know your metrics. For some that might be reaching or overachieving your monthly sales goal. Awards from your employer are also key in getting noticed, remembered, and called for an interview. Do not make the mistake of thinking your resume will get you the job. It “might” get you a telephone interview. If you are the ideal/dream candidate, it will get you an in person interview along with a job offer. If you JUST graduated high school then you have all kinds of things to talk about that make you the best candidate. When I reviewed resume for students I would look at it for things that are talking points, things that are impressive and that that are just wasting space on valuable real estate. Use your network and ask people what are your strengths. Ask yourself, what makes you better than 100 other candidates? Keep in mind, the resume is designed to get you the interview. If you already know someone who can get you an introduction then you don’t need a resume. I have been hired in coffee shops talking with my clients about WordPress, and consultants overhear me and inquire wanting to know more. Sometimes just proving you can do the job, like showing your portfolio or websites, can get you hired. No interview required. Artists are hired all the time to paint/create a piece without ever knowing what the final piece will look like. If I said I would work for you for ONE day, what would you have me do? Create a marketing plan? Website? Review your resume and cover letter? Train you to interview? Teach you how to hire and screen the right candidates? Read financial statements? Teach you how to make money with our own set of skills? Review your manuscript? Create a logo? Photograph you for portrait studio pics? There are tons of “things” that can translate into valuable action statements/skills. Remember, your personality is a sellable skill, as are your looks. Television news anchors are hired because of their personality, not how smart they are. They just sit there, look pretty and talk. Wow, what a perfect job, until your looks fade and you are cancelled.

Shout out to Dollar General for a whole bunch of inexpensive fairy garden decorations. I found a bunch of fun stuff for mine. For those who created their own gardens, the fairies are ever so grateful. Cheers! It’s Friday, and those who are vaccinated no longer have to wear masks, according to the CDC. I hate masks. They tickle my goatee and make it annoying.

If you are working on your resume/action statements, do not do it as a resume format. Do it on a blank piece of paper. The formatting part will come later. Start by listing what you do now, what you did in past jobs, and what you can do in the future. This is really important. Think outside the box. Think like a HR screener.