Are you smarter than a … PhD?

Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader: Freshmen vs Sophomores – The Morgan  PawPrintSo if you didn’t watch television, then you wouldn’t know there is/was a show called “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” Yeah, my title today is a take off of that and I want to point out that many people (like millions) think they are smarter than a fucking doctor. Yeah, WTF is that? I have a friend who dropped out of high school and because a “nurse” with a community college degree said she didn’t think the vaccination was real because it was created too soon — decided that HER half baked opinion was better than the CDC. Hmm. Yeah, he still doesn’t have his shot.

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Am I ridiculing and MASK shaming him? Fuck yeah I am. Am I shaming him for not finishing school? No. Shaming him because there are clearly smarter, more educated people (like me) who make much better life, health, career and financial decisions. I pointed out that I can understand that having no good role models can warp your decision making abilities, but I’m right here in front of you telling you to go get the shot. Get the shot. Save a life. Your own.

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My own brother refused to get the shot and then I said, “Well, you can’t come visit unless you have documented proof you are vaccinated.” Boom. 1st shot next day. Don’t make me have to manipulate you to get the shot. Wait, what? Just by reading this blog your perception has already changed, and you are laughing because you already got the shot. Sweet. Then this wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for you to share it with one of your own network “friends”.

 

 

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Message from a Higher Power

So this morning in meditation I was given a message to direct to my readers. If you are vax’d (meaning you have both of your shots), then you cannot let your guard down, especially if you “might” be around someone who is not (like your kids). Don’t you think it is a little strange that nursing homes were on lockdown to protect them from an infected person, yet people who have just ONE shot, are walking around with no mask. They don’t realize or think that they might accidentally contract the virus and bring it home to their unprotected kids and pets. Yes, pets are also at risk.
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You still need to wash your hands, use sanitizer and stop touching doors and stop touching your face. Seriously, there is all kinds of nasty stuff on your hands that you can’t see. And if you haven’t bought one yet, an ozone generator is still the best and safest way to kill coronavirus. You will live a lifetime of nightmares if you are directly responsible for killing your own child with your carelessness. (Not my words, just the messenger.)

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And while we are on safety public announcements, you may have noticed an uptick in blown tires all over the highway, cars abandoned sitting on jacks. Do you know why? No Aaron, why? Because, it’s fucking hot out, the roads are burning and people who don’t rotate or check their tires are at risk. Bald tires on hot asphalt going 75+ mph are going to have a blow out and probably an accident. Do yourself a favor and just CHECK your tires to make sure you have plenty of tread. It actually is more important now that is so hot versus in the winter. Frozen tires don’t explode. Also I strongly suggest you pay attention to what is ON the road as shit falls off trucks all the time, including pallets of wood and their remains. You hit one of those with shitty tires and you are going to be pissed off. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I rotate my tires every oil change, you should too. If you don’t know how to change a tire, get roadside assistance, available on every cell phone plan for a small fee. Some credit cards offer it for free, like American Express platinum and every single MasterCard Elite or Visa Signature. They will change your tire, tow your car, and even bring you a gallon of gas if you run out. And if you are a dumb ass and lock your keys in the car while it is running, they will send a locksmith for free. Don’t judge, it’s happened to the best of us, at the worst of times.

 

Pondering on whether or not you should see Marvel’s new Black Widow? I am not going to review it, but I will say that I watched it twice, with 2 friends, so we totally got value out of Disney+ premiere at home. Strong female action heroes! I loved it.

My 48th birthday is this Friday and Nintendo is celebrating with me by launching the remake Zelda Sky something! Yay! It’s the older game where you fly on a bird to get to different regions. Go buy and download it now so it will be activated and ready for you on Friday.

 

 

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Leaving the Job Market

So if you are are IN the job market, meaning you are actively working, you get a paycheck and you probably report to someone. As I was talking with a client yesterday I had to remind him that in addition to the thousands of people dying from COVID there is also that nasty little fact that every day over 10,000+ boomers are retiring and leaving the job market forever. That is a fact that has been happening for quite awhile, and you are already starting to feel the impact of that. PLUS there are a TON of “housewives” who are done working and want to go home and stay home. Thousands of nurses, cops, teachers, first responders who all said enough is enough. And as strange as it sounds, there is an entire generation that just wants a sugar daddy or sugar mommy. Who would have imagined that would be someone’s “career plan”? I personally can attest to the corporate bullshit you have to deal with on a daily basis. I left big business to work for a small company, of 4 employees, and sure decisions were made quickly, but laws were broken ALL THE TIME. Just so you know, it is ILLEGAL to pay someone in cash and not report it on your taxes. You may think you are doing your employee a favor, but it’s illegal. Oh sure I LOVED getting envelopes stuffed with cash. Who wouldn’t? Sometimes, many times it is a “I won’t tell if you won’t tell” situation. HR knows ALL the dirty secrets. Sometimes they play along, sometimes they act like the good cop.

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True story, I was hired once as a “temp”, meaning no benefits. I was told I was exempt, so they worked me to death. Until they found out I had kept track of every hour worked overtime, and was planning on using it as my own comp time for vacation since I had no benefits. OMG, do you KNOW how much trouble they would have been in if the DOL found out what was going on? Being “exempt” has special rules, and you can’t use a temp as exempt. They paid me the actual overtime rate, and then later terminated me as a “corporate downsizing”. Hey it wasn’t my fault. They lied to me and told me I was exempt. I wasn’t. I was an hourly employee, lied to, and ultimately lost. If I knew back then, all the HR laws that I know today, I would have sued them, AND Walmart, and I would have won. But I didn’t because I didn’t know my rights were violated. Being part of a “group”, in my case Asian American, I also have rights that potentially could hinder/help an employer. If you are not being “fair” and only hiring, say, Caucasian male workers, and have no colored people, you could find yourself in an affirmative action lawsuit. So, point of the story, chances are you are being abused by your employer and you don’t even know it. If you are clocked out then you can’t take back a return to your department on your way out, help a customer or answer a phone. Only the manager can work off the clock.

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It is a known fact that people leave jobs because of bad managers. Some of them leave and never come back. Some get early retirement. Others marry rich or find a sugar daddy/mommy. If you are unemployed, looking for a better tomorrow, there is hope. Millions of people don’t want to work, prove that you aren’t one of them. Millions are in retirement, so can you find an opportunity that will cater to that market? Travel and entertainment will always be an area of opportunity, if you can find a product/service in that market. Did you see AMC stock shot back up? It has a low of a $1.91 a share and then went as high as $72. Can you imagine if you bought say, 5000 shares when they tanked? You’d be well off now. Car rentals and hotel rooms are at a premium, so can you rent your car or extra spare room? Turo and air b&b have a booming business model. As a writer I always teach that people, with some skill, can write something; an article, a review, a blog, a book, a speech/presentation. If you write it, they will read it. You can publish your autobiography and publish it as an eBook and people will buy it if it is somewhat interesting and inexpensive. Your family and relation might be interested in your life from your perspective.

 

If you are working on your career plan, you actually have almost all the things you need to be successful. Be sure you check out LinkedIn.com and create a profile for recruiters to view. Sell your skills. Sell your talents. Join groups on LinkedIn that are relevant to your career. Remember that job data sheet you were supposed to create?

You now need to add 3-5 good references with their information so it will be ready when you are offered that dream job. Those references can be former supervisors, committee members, coworkers, customers/clients, vendors, owner of the company, … the list can go on and on. People who can speak to your work ethic, personality, attendance, are going to be advantageous. If you are a reference, do not lie for that person. Tell the truth. I had a “friend” ask me to be a reference and I said, “Well, I have never worked with you, but I can say you are always late, you never pay the bill, you sometimes call in sick when you aren’t and you stole a laptop from your past employer.” He said “Thanks, no thanks.” So, moral of the story, your “friend” might not be willing to lie for you. I adhere to the SHRM (Society Human Resource Management) code of ethics, so I will always tell the truth.

 

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You’re Fired. Hire Yourself.

Have you ever been terminated from a job that was not by your choice? Perhaps it was just a corporate lay-off, or … workforce reduction due to decline in sales. Here’s a little HR secret. We sometimes terminate an employee, and tell them it was a downsizing, … let’s keep this confidential as to not ruin your future job prospecting efforts, and it really was just a bold face lie to get rid of an employee. Oh sure he/she will get unemployment, but that is why the company has unemployment insurance. Technically almost everyone is employee at will, that is if they get a W2 form. This means you can be terminated for no reason and you as the employee have no recourse. Right now, I know there are millions of people who are unemployed or as I like to say, looking for a better tomorrow. I actually thought that would be a good name for a book. BUT people don’t read books, they read blogs.

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So, now that you are unemployed, underemployed, or just living off the government as long as you can … at some point you will need to think about some type of income to keep that lifestyle of yours going. Last I checked almost every fast food restaurant is starting people at almost $15 an hour. But in Denver, that is the normal starting wage. Why? Denver is super expensive to live. So the one thing that they never teach you in school is the occupation of being self-employed. Now if you go into a trade school, and get additional education in an area that might require a license, then they “might” kind of teach you about going out on your own. When I was at the Bar Association we actually did a workshop called “Hanging Your Shingle”, which was a 3 day intensive training from other industries to help you start being a small business owner, which is what a lot of lawyers eventually do when they have enough clients … or no clients. Remember, if you have a skill an employer is willing to pay for, then why not still sell that skill to the actual client/customer?

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So, if you were a plumber or a beautician, then you could easily be self employed. You build a Facebook business page, build a website, set your prices for your services and then tell EVERYONE to please use you for _______. Does it always work out that way? Sometimes, yes, it does. Remember the rule of 1000 fans? If you have 1000 loyal, dedicated fans, you can make a living as a self employed … we will say artist (since that is what I am). All you have to do is keep in good communication with those fans and when you produce a new _____ (book, song, painting, digital poster), all of your fans will buy it and you will see a paycheck.

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DeviantArt.com makes it really easy for artists to publish their work. I’ve used it, and I’m on there. Many of my fans have downloaded and purchased my artwork. Wow, how cool is that? Now one of the things about certain fields, is it is really easy to produce ONE item and sell it a million times. Like a song, book or digital artwork. If you are doing one off for each customer, you will have a very limited ability to create a lot of wealth. There are thousands of individuals that become owners or a company and only know how to do their trade, and the things like accounting, legal, HR, marketing, social media, website, payroll, are all outsourced to another company that specializes in it. Some people will start small with some sort of accounting software, others may just use a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to track and document things.

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The reality is you need to register your company name, or sole proprietorship, get a tax ID if you are not doing sole. Get a business checking account. Technically you are ready for business. You can fix someone’s ____ and say “That’ll be $50.” Design someone a logo or business card and charge $75. Cater someone’s wedding and collect a deposit via Paypal after you create a free invoice through their website. Btw, I use Paypal for all my website invoicing. It makes it super easy, looks professional and it emails it to your client, who can turn around and pay you instantly online. Just remember though, if you use Paypal, they take a percentage. If your customer pays by check you keep it all. If you have your website with E-commerce, you can create buttons, packages, items for sale and have it link to Paypal. So maybe you have a subscription or monthly fee you can charge your customers, rather than having them pay all at once. You can do all kinds of things through your website to earn revenue while you are off doing something else. You might be like Ben Shapiro and have EXCLUSIVE content only for subscribers. He is entertaining for sure, but I don’t learn anything from him and I wouldn’t pay to hear more rants and raves. Don’t get me wrong, I really like watching his videos … for free.

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I was once at a seminar and I heard the speaker say that no one would hire him. He had a variety of reasons, but he was overqualified and he was worth too much money. I get it, people used to tell me that because of my MBA. So he said he hired himself and started his own business. HE became the boss, and he went knocking on doors to get customers. Cold calling. It sucks but it works. If you are friendly and like people then this should be easy. Just remember though, prospecting IS just as hard or harder than the work itself. Networking, cold calling, knocking on doors, after hours cocktail networking meetings are all part of the requirements if you want to be self-employed/owner. You might find you work more as the owner than when you were an hourly employee. So one thing to think about is your accounting system. Do you require payment up front? Half now, half when delivered? Send them a bill that is due immediately or 10 days later? Cash, check, charge, Paypal, Venmo, Bitcoin, on favor, pro-bono, charitable contribution?  All of those are possibilities and you need to think about how much finance you need to operate and live successfully. The only person looking out for you is you. Unless you get financing from an investor who you are willing to share your profits forever. That investor might be mom or dad. Whatever you company or trade is, you still need to have a business plan and a marketing plan. These can be Googled for more information, but they are important. Money is always important so don’t go into personal credit card debt. Start small and simple and work your way up, like Bill Gates did.

Your objective this week is to find the dream company that you want to work one day. What do current employees say about it, what do former employees say? Wow, there is a website that you can totally slam your past employer and the HR person reads it. It is called Glassdoor.com. If you are bored, go look up your past jobs and post a review. If you are looking for your dream job, what DO apple employees and Google geeks say? Inquiring minds want to know. Do not apply. Copy and paste that company into a new document. If you are thinking about starting a new business, think about WHO your customers are, and where are you going to find them.

 

 

 

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Sales 102

Have you had any formal sales training? Like, you actually sat in a classroom with other students, an instructor (preferably a seasoned salesperson), did role playing and actually closed some sales? No? Okay, well, today in your training you are going to learn a few things in life that might actually help you … in your job, your finances, your relationships. I, on the other hand, have had years of training and mentored with some of the best sales guys I have ever met. In fact, when I was a sales supervisor at Best Buy I was in charge of the orientation/on-boarding/sales training for all new recruits. It actually was really cool as I did the screening, interviewing as well, so spending all that time with new hires helped to retain them. One of the first rules at Best Buy (for me) was if you don’t shop here, you can’t work here. What? Why? You need to already know the products, the industry, the store. You know, basic expectations out of a candidate. So I am going to start with some basics, BEFORE you meet your contact, you have to prospect to get them. I do not mean posting something on your social media that you are now selling the latest, coolest, best _____ product on the market and you need to be one of the first with your foot in the door. Unless you have some geeky kid next door in his garage starting some cool idea company, I would be very, VERY apprehensive in whatever they are selling. Chances are it is a multi-level marketing company, and let’s be honest, you are never going to make real money selling for an upline. I personally know of dozens of good people who fell prey to the “what if it’s you?” bait/marketing scheme.

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I wrote a kids book and most of my friends have kids. Guess what? A tiny fraction of those friends bought or even asked for an autographed copy of my book. Why? I never asked, and actually didn’t care. I have hundreds of thousands of fans/readers all over the world who don’t know me who DID read it. Trying to convince your friends and family to buy your product or service is hard. It is like trying to convince a muggle that you have magic powers or you are psychic. Read my mind. Not all psychics’ powers work like that. So how do you get new customers if your own circle won’t buy? You pay for them. It is called advertising. You see it everywhere. You also get someone to endorse your product … like an influencer or someone who has a lot of people who look up to him/her. What it all comes down to is … word of mouth/ willing to recommend. Sometimes it is simply exposure and marketing your product. A book, like any product needs a marketing plan, a launch date, and many different vehicles to let everyone know. I used Facebook business advertising and exposed my book all around the world until I found my sweet spots. Who knew Algeria and Egypt would be big on my book? As I instructed my clients, we need a minimum of six months exposure before you launch. Get people excited about it before it launches.  The artist I hired for the cover granted me unlimited licensing of my characters so I made bookmarks with their faces. Everyone loves free bookmarks. I actually designed the bookmark, but if you hire a graphic artist, they can easily do one of you and your product (a book). It was also clever as it had the launch date on the bookmark so for a lot of people they saw the book daily before it launched. I know this was key in the marketing efforts. If you want one, Venmo a dollar for postage and envelope (USA only). Put your address in the notes.

 

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When I was in sales at AT&T, the “willing to recommend” was HUGE and I had to drill it into every single one of my customers. It was even on the survey. Are you willing to tell a couple of trusted friends to have the same 5 star experience? Yes? Awesome, here are two cards, write your name on it and when they come in I will give you 2000 roll over minutes for free. Wow. I know right? Now that wouldn’t work. While your own circle of influence may not buy your _____ (for me it was book/websites), they might actually give you customers. Weird I know. As a website guy I also would go to networking groups and I was always hitting up new business owners who didn’t have a website on their business card. I didn’t always get paid actual money, but I did manage to get some awesome trades in return. Keep in mind that not every prospect/contact is going to be a mutual beneficial arrangement. I can think of many, many times I built a website for someone and never got paid. I know, it sucks. When I first started I had a client who tricked me into thinking I was going to get all this new business from her. After a year of no clients from her she moved her website back to WordPress.org and put it on a shitty blog template. She didn’t deserve me. I also volunteered on a church business networking group on the committee/board. I did the website and got “free” advertising and membership. Yeah, that didn’t quite work out as well as I had wanted, as I was donating my websites for charitable causes all the time. Now when people want me to do a “pro bono” website I send them to Wix.com. If you haven’t used/seen it, they actually host a ton of professionals websites. Those who are too cheap to invest have their branding all over it. Although it is somewhat easy to use, it is slow, clunky, can’t be customized how I build websites. I had a client who thought she could do it better and later confessed she had no idea what she was doing. Again, a website for “trade”, I got to read all her training manuals on her specific trade, as long as I promised never to compete against her. I was like, okay, I do websites, you do emotional healing. You’re safe. While I don’t advocate spamming your newsfeed with your product/service I do promote listing it so people can find more about it. You can list your Facebook business page on your personal page, and then when people click it, they can see your posts and website address.

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If are you NOT selling a product or service and you are simply looking for work, let me visit your employment profile for a moment. If you are unemployed then you definitely need to let all your contacts know you are looking for work. Text, email, post an update, snap it, meet friends for drinks and find out more about their companies. If I had to go look for a corporate job, I would hit up my network of colleagues to see what they had open and would recommend. There are lots of jobs out there if you look. Keep in mind that many companies will not post jobs on outside websites so you might have to do more work to find those jobs. Getting an employee referral is your ideal situation. When you do meet up, be ready to spit out all kinds of tactical experiences that you can easily transfer to another company. I’m a sales/marketing/HR kind of guy, so a job traveling for trade shows selling HR ____ would be my target job. Could I sell to HR colleagues? Easily. If I didn’t have any networking friends, I would use LinkedIn, theladders.com and I would target companies that I felt were desirable to work at, like, you know, Google, apple, Disney. What software are you an expert? Can you really use Photoshop or are you just using a fancy paid app like Khloe Kardashian? How fast do you type? As silly as that sounds, there are still millions who can’t type. I hate typing on a phone, so I use voice to text. But I am long winded so you might think I type really really fast. It is crazy when I go somewhere and I see the employee looking at the keyboard for the right letters. Crazy right? How are your organizational skills? What do you use to keep you on time, at the right place, and not forgetting shit? What apps do you use? As weird as it sounds, in this day and age, you really have to know how to use apps to work. Like, Slack for instance. It isn’t industry specific, but it is an app that I had to learn to use.

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I haven’t updated/visited my resume in a decade, and I bet there are a lot of other people who can say the same. So why don’t we start together and create something new, current and ready for today and tomorrows job market? The first part of the sales process is going to be selling YOU, your skills, experience (or lack thereof), your personality and what you can do for a company. Start by identifying WHO you are, and how you are going to market that. For example, am I a writer? HR guy? website guy? sales? trainer? You might have several resumes based on your skills, or you may just have one that you customize with each job/employer. Think about the “things” you can do now, and for your next job. Everyone has something that will make them unique, and highly desirable as a candidate. Having lots and lots of skills that multiple departments can benefit from will quickly advance a candidate. When I said I could train the staff on some different sales and closing techniques that would increase revenue and new business development, I was a “sure thing”. When I was asked if I knew the 4 “C’s”, I replied, “Cash, check, charge, credit.”

 

For your resume, start with your objective and/or your professional profile (or highlights). This will be the first section of your resume. I also like to call this the formal 30 second commercial. If someone only had a few seconds to scan through your resume, what are the things you want them to see immediately?

Share the wealth and forward/share this valuable information with someone you know needs it. If this was forwarded to you, hit up the website and subscribe to get your own blog updates.

 

 

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Sales 101

Alrighty kids, let’s learn something, or shall we say, revisit a very simple but important concept in running a business. So if you don’t think this relates directly TO you, there might be someone in your circle of influence that you need to pass this message. Fair enough? One of my specialties has been to identify areas of opportunity and determine sources of revenue. So small business owners or really creative idea generators listen up? Whatever your business is … you MUST secure a stable stream of revenue or you will fail. Now, there are exceptions to every rule, such as, a millionaire like a Kardashian can start a company, it can fail and they don’t lose everything and go on unemployment. You can also be a non-profit and you get grants, donations and sponsorships to keep the daily operations going. One of the hardest thing to do in starting a business is acquiring new customers. Hence advertising, word of mouth, social media all have a huge effect on whether people will buy, use and recommend your product or service.

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So where am I going with this? Well, take a look around at what products or services are now hard to come by, … such as rental cars. About a year ago after everyone was forced to stay home, some of the supporting industries took a huge dive in customers. No one was traveling and many of the big rental car companies were forced to sell off their inventory at a huge loss or face bankruptcy, which actually happened to a couple of companies. So now that things are somewhat returning to normal, there are no cars to rent. In some places, people are renting the pickup truck from Uhaul as it is cheaper than a rental car. So if you weren’t aware, there is a car sharing app/company that has been around for a little while, but like everything, had a downturn in sales. That company is Turo.com. Now I have never used the company myself, nor do I know of anyone who does, but it comes highly recommended. It is like air B&B, where you rent your property to someone, and it is covered by another insurance company, and you can make money on your car if you aren’t using it. There are actually people who went and bought or leased a new car, and then turn around and put it on Turo as their income. Same concept with the air B&B, … as long as you have customers. So if you are planning a vacation or trip anytime soon, be sure you use this cool website. You can rent anything from a Jeep 4×4 to a brand new corvette. This is especially fun if you are going to be doing a lot of driving on your trip.

And in case you missed it, Colorado was the tragedy of the “Mother’s Day Massacre”, in Colorado Springs where six people were gunned down at a family celebration in a mobile home trailer park. The killer was the boyfriend of one of the victims and died of a self inflicted gun wound. Our hearts, warm thoughts and prayers go out to the surviving family members and friends.

 

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Trump’s New Blog (desk)

Twice impeached former US President Donald J. Trump has “launched” his blog. He calls it a new social media platform. Uh huh. I’m a webmaster and I read code. I can see right through it. And technically it is no different than my own blog. Instead of calling it blog he simply renamed the location as “desk”.  Unlike my own meandering thoughts and far fetched ideas, displayed in a huge font for us visually challenged folks, his “tweets” or posts I should say, need improvement. They are too small to read and due to his highly formal background in the English language, are nothing compared to our former President Obama, a former attorney and politician. I didn’t subscribe to his website and I did not donate either. He’s a “billionaire” and he is asking for money. I actually have been saying all along he should just use his own domain and website to post his thoughts, … just like Ben Shapiro and myself. You have a target audience that actually wants to hear what you have to say, and like my site, he does not allow you to comment on the site. You can actually comment on mine, I just don’t publish them on the site. Whomever is doing his site really should do some upgrades. Trump is still technically banned on all social media, including Facebook and Twitter, so I am not sure they will allow users to post his “tweets”/posts to their own newsfeed/timeline. When Ivanka did an interview with daddy and put it on Instagram it was immediately removed from her page and every user that shared it. It is no big surprise Trump is still obsessed with spouting lies. I will agree, the election WAS stolen, when he got elected the first time. When you know, the Russians hacked our system and forced the US to have paper ballots as backup/proof. Hillary did not once pull a temper tantrum like Donald. She didn’t tell hundreds of democrats to storm the capital. I think he still thinks he is innocent and the fact that lives were lost due to his immaturity is not his fault. I’m still waiting for New York to find him guilty of all kinds of shit. Tax evasion, racketeering, and not to mention the egregious abuse of power. He made millions charging guests (secret service) at his hotels. And let’s not forget every one of those damn hotels charge … you got it, a resort fee. Which we know is a bullshit fee since we all have internet on our phones.  Ironic how those hotels are remaining unoccupied, mostly due to COVID, which he said would magically go away the day after elections.

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And in other news, I read that the Biden Administration is looking to increase the number of years that a public student would need to graduate, to an additional 4 years. So if you can’t make college free for everyone, then simply change the rules for public education and give them the 4 years for free. I see this could be a good thing, or a bad thing. What if the kids say “F” this and they all start dropping out after the 12 years are up? I don’t know about you, but I was ready for college. High school was … confining. I don’t personally agree with all the things they make kids do to graduate. If I was in charge of education, I would make some serious curriculum changes. How to change a tire, jump start a car, cooking for dummies … you know, real life skills. As a member of the InstantPot group on Facebook, I have come to the conclusion that millions of people do not know how to cook, and they think their new magic InstApot is a replacement microwave. Every day, every minute, somewhere, someone is making a 3000 calorie cheesecake and dumping another 2000 calories in chocolate and toppings. I drink my calories, in those delicious Arby’s orange creamsicle shakes. If you haven’t had one you really should try one as they are for a limited time only. A large is a whopping 950 calories. Yep, that was my lunch and dinner that day.

Did you get your mom a gift yet? Time is running out.

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Life is short. Pamper yourself.

As a seasoned veteran in the sales arena, one of my favorite techniques to  manipulate customers was the “pamper yourself” technique. I don’t think I invented it, but I never – I repeat never – have ever seen another sales person use it effectively on a prospect. So what exactly IS this magical technique that I would apply ever so carefully? Well, first of all, buying and selling is a relationship activity. Anyone who is paid an actual commission, and no base salary understand how important it is to really connect with that prospect. Depending on what you are selling and who you are selling it to can make a huge difference. Sure anyone can “close” a sale, but can you maximize your new friend to spend twice as much? I can.

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So I think  my favorite place that I used this was working in the jewelry store. I wasn’t REALLY on commission but I had an aggressive sales goal that meant I could not rely on impulse purchases to get there. I sold over $200k in my first month. And that is a heck of a lot of diamonds. And we all know that a “No thanks, I’m just looking” really means, “Hey salesman, convince me to buy something I totally don’t need, but really want.” Don’t you just love a challenge? Yeah, me too. I think “Oh, it’s is ON.” First of all, no one just browses when they really want to buy. Oh sure we would all LOVE to have whatever and just buy it. Guess what? Some people have a shitload of money and a grand here or there doesn’t even budge the needle on the stress level scale. So ask your prospect a simple question that will get the wheels turning. “When was the last time you spoiled yourself or bought something nice?” Good one huh? For some reason it is a simple question that people don’t ask enough, of their prospects, new customers, loyal patrons, friends and family. I actually had a salesman who worked for me when I ran a Cingular store and he used to say “Treat yourself.” And he would sell more accessories than anyone. Nifty trick. Like a $130 bluetooth headset was an ice cream cone or something. Now obviously if you sell something like insurance, you probably won’t get the same results.

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My other closing sales line was “I usually buy what I want since my significant other is not a mind reader and if I hate doing returns/exchanges.” That usually got a good laugh. Or maybe the “Hi, I’m fucking awesome and no one gives me a holiday or special day.” Sometimes people just need someone to approve of their expensive purchase and say it is okay to actually spend money on yourself. I do it all the time. Every day is a celebration when you don’t have kids (to pay for things), a mortgage, a car payment or student loans right? With the current state of … the world, I guess you could say “Hey I am spending money on me because I was screwed out of every holiday/celebration/wedding/birthday because of COVID. Think of all the money you would have spent on gifts and airline tickets alone! There are literally millions of people who got a stimulus check that weren’t directly affected, but who wouldn’t take free money right? We all want to win the lottery. Some people act like this small check of $1400 is like a winning scratch ticket. Funny right? My dentist took mine and it wasn’t enough. There is such a big push on affordable healthcare but no one gives a shit about our teeth. Love my dentist but I feel like I am financing a car. I’m afraid to go in for a cleaning as it always ends up being more than just a cleaning. Sure, I need some new laser procedure for my gums. No, it is not free and not covered by insurance.

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And the trial for the murder of George Floyd is fucking ridiculous. He was murdered. End of story. Terminate his killer. Congressman Matt Gaetz is a disgusting pedophile (which hasn’t been stated anywhere in the media) and should be imprisoned. I guess since he isn’t the president and doesn’t need 60 votes to convict him, he is gonna get it. I’m sure Liz Cheny is laughing her ass off now. I told you they turn on each other. White republican … sorry white entitled republican. Karma is a bitch and in one of my future books, the karma angels are going to finally have their day in the spotlight.

Go buy something nice, cool or awesome for yourself. There are millions who saved for a rainy day and never got to spend it. I’ve been buying expensive face masks on Ipsy that tighten my skin and make me look even younger. I’ll be 48 in July but I still get carded at every casino and bar. My favorite mask is by Generation Clay, the pink clay one. And since you know I don’t take bribes, I am not sponsored by them or anyone. If you try it, get the one on Amazon, it is cheaper.

 

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The Trump Tax Cut?

So if you were blithely unaware, a few years ago Trump gave billion dollar corporation tax cuts, with the hope and fantasy that the trickle down effect would impact everyone. Well, I am a shareholder for Best Buy, who also got a big tax cut. Did employees get any of that money? Did the shareholders get a dividend that I wasn’t aware of? That’s right, the answer is no. The fucking greedy bastards kept it all for themselves. Oh sure, some tenured Walmart employees got a bone thrown at them, like hey, good work, we just saved billions, here’s a penny for your thoughts, which don’t count. Because history repeats itself and as long as anyone can remember the rich people are favored and the poor people are treated like second class citizens. Well it looks like the corporate rate of 21% is increasing to 28%, and when you are a big company like apple, Google, Walmart, AT&T or Best Buy, that percentage comes to millions. So yes, the federal government will be able to finance some of those stimulus checks, but as a negative repercussion, those retailers and companies will increase prices. I just got a message that my Disney+ was going up by a couple of bucks. I guess those premier releases (Mulan, Onward) haven’t been as profitable and with limited attendance at their parks, they need some cash.
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It really is sad that republicans in Georgia are also being sabotaged by their own party. As I said the other day, the republicans have woken a sleeping giant, and now they are going to have a really hard time putting it back to sleep. If you didn’t know, Georgia passed a law making it illegal to give someone water while standing in line to vote. WTF. Right? Where the hell was MY water when I was standing in line to vote? hahahaha. Just kidding. I vote by mail, just like the millions of others in Colorado. And while OUR voting rights are not being attacked, our virus here is, and starting this week EVERYONE will be eligible to get a vaccination shot. Wow. And I didn’t inquire with anyone, but I am pretty sure they are not going to require a drivers license or proof of citizenship to get the shot. Yeah, we aren’t assholes here. I had to say it. And if you didn’t know it, baseball opens this week here in Denver with the Colorado Rockies allowing 21,000 people to attend in person. If you are over 18 you can get the 1 shot Johnson & Johnson. Yay us for us old people.

 

Disney+ released a new series. All I see are these stupid Captain America memes. Yep, waiting til episode 6 launches then I’ll watch the falcon. I’m currently into Titans, a DC spin off of Batman, focused on the sidekick, Nightwing, who is not a nice guy. So far, I really like it. Superman & Lois airs tonight, and while I thought I would really like it, I’m just not that into it. They are focused on the supertwins who have no real powers, alternate timelines, … way too many variables to actually focus on a real plot. So far it is just a “meh” from me.

 

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Stop The Hurt

I know a lot of my readers are just as confused as I am. What am I talking about you may ask? Well, if you didn’t know, yesterday an Asian killing happened in Atlanta and this was clearly a hate crime, despite the murderer (in custody) saying it wasn’t. So my YouTube news was flooded with videos and news commentary about the situation, and OMG this is seriously getting out of hand. First of all, they are attacking geriatric fossils who can’t defend themselves. Like, hey, let’s go pick on some fifth graders so we can feel like a big bully.

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If I was witness to that happening to ANY elder person, regardless of race, background religion or whatever, it would be the WRATH OF AARON and I gotta say, it would not be pretty. 35 years of virtual training on a gaming console has left me with some very valuable skills. Yes, that’s right, I have a 9mm handgun. If EVERY person was armed, I think there would be a heck of a lot less attacks. How many first person shooter games have YOU played? How many hundreds of hours looking down a scope for the enemy? I think every Asian needs to be armed with at least a stun gun tazer, so when they see it happening to someone being attacked they can attack back. Shit I’d hit him with a fucking flare gun right at the head. Yes, seriously. Okay, I don’t carry a flare gun, but I carry my keys and I would have no problem paralyzing someone from the neck down. One swift hit in the back of the neck and it would be vegetable city forever. I took a few classes here and there. One thing to remember if you are ever held at gun point, give them your wallet, throw it on the ground and run like hell.

 

I do not promote violence, but when it comes to fight or flight, I will do both. And Dexter taught me how to bleed someone out very easily.

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