Life is short. Pamper yourself.

As a seasoned veteran in the sales arena, one of my favorite techniques to  manipulate customers was the “pamper yourself” technique. I don’t think I invented it, but I never – I repeat never – have ever seen another sales person use it effectively on a prospect. So what exactly IS this magical technique that I would apply ever so carefully? Well, first of all, buying and selling is a relationship activity. Anyone who is paid an actual commission, and no base salary understand how important it is to really connect with that prospect. Depending on what you are selling and who you are selling it to can make a huge difference. Sure anyone can “close” a sale, but can you maximize your new friend to spend twice as much? I can.


So I think  my favorite place that I used this was working in the jewelry store. I wasn’t REALLY on commission but I had an aggressive sales goal that meant I could not rely on impulse purchases to get there. I sold over $200k in my first month. And that is a heck of a lot of diamonds. And we all know that a “No thanks, I’m just looking” really means, “Hey salesman, convince me to buy something I totally don’t need, but really want.” Don’t you just love a challenge? Yeah, me too. I think “Oh, it is ON.” First of all, no one just browses when they really want to buy. Oh sure we would all LOVE to have whatever and just buy it. Guess what? Some people have a shitload of money and a grand here or there doesn’t even budge the needle on the stress level scale. So ask your prospect a simple question that will get the wheels turning. “When was the last time you spoiled yourself or bought something nice?” Good one huh? For some reason it is a simple question that people don’t ask enough, of their prospects, new customers, loyal patrons, friends and family. I actually had a salesman who worked for me when I ran a Cingular store and he used to say “Treat yourself.” And he would sell more accessories than anyone. Nifty trick. Like a $130 bluetooth headset was an ice cream cone or something. Now obviously if you sell something like insurance, you probably won’t get the same results.


My other closing sales line was “I usually buy what I want since my significant other is not a mind reader and if I hate doing returns/exchanges.” That usually got a good laugh. Or maybe the “Hi, I’m fucking awesome and no one gives me a holiday or special day.” Sometimes people just need someone to approve of their expensive purchase and say it is okay to actually spend money on yourself. I do it all the time. Every day is a celebration when you don’t have kids (to pay for things), a mortgage, a car payment or student loans right? With the current state of … the world, I guess you could say “Hey I am spending money on me because I was screwed out of every holiday/celebration/wedding/birthday because of COVID. Think of all the money you would have spent on gifts and airline tickets alone! There are literally millions of people who got a stimulus check that weren’t directly affected, but who wouldn’t take free money right? We all want to win the lottery. Some people act like this small check of $1400 is like a winning scratch ticket. Funny right? My dentist took mine and it wasn’t enough. There is such a big push on affordable healthcare but no one gives a shit about our teeth. Love my dentist but I feel like I am financing a car. I’m afraid to go in for a cleaning as it always ends up being more than just a cleaning. Sure, I need some new laser procedure for my gums. No, it is not free and not covered by insurance.


And the trial for the murder of George Floyd is fucking ridiculous. He was murdered. End of story. Terminate his killer. Congressman Matt Gaetz is a disgusting pedophile (which hasn’t been stated anywhere in the media) and should be imprisoned. I guess since he isn’t the president and doesn’t need 60 votes to convict him, he is gonna get it. I’m sure Liz Cheny is laughing her ass off now. I told you they turn on each other. White republican … sorry white entitled republican. Karma is a bitch and in one of my future books, the karma angels are going to finally have their day in the spotlight.

Go buy something nice, cool or awesome for yourself. There are millions who saved for a rainy day and never got to spend it. I’ve been buying expensive face masks on Ipsy that tighten my skin and make me look even younger. I’ll be 48 in July but I still get carded at every casino and bar. My favorite mask is by Generation Clay, the pink clay one. And since you know I don’t take bribes, I am not sponsored by them or anyone. If you try it, get the one on Amazon, it is cheaper.