Life 360

It’s time for a shout out! There is this really cool app called Life 360. If you have any family members, like kids, spouses, siblings, whatever and you want to keep tabs on him/her, then you install the Life360 app for all your peeps. Yes, it is like big brother watching you, where you are, and even giving you notifications when someone arrives, but it also gives you a peace of mind knowing where that person is. Yes, the iPhone already has “Where is my iPhone”, but this works on any smartphone. What this app also has is “crash detection”, and roadside assistance with the gold membership. So if you are paying for roadside through AAA or your cell phone, you should cancel those and use this app instead.

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While experiencing a blow out today, I called American Express platinum to find out they eliminated that nice handy benefit. No roadside. WTF right? They give you free everything, except towing your car. They told me I could use my Uber benefit. I asked if Uber all of the sudden towed cars. No, I can’t use that when my car is stranded on the side of the road during rush hour traffic. So luckily I remembered Life 360 has roadside and they sent a tow truck right away. They told me due to to COVID that I could not ride with the driver and I should call an Uber. Again I laughed, and rolled my eyes. When the driver showed up, he gladly gave me a ride with my car. Life360 will also unlock your car if you accidentally lock those keys … again.

And in case you missed it, SENATOR Hickenlooper from Colorado has contracted COVID19. Yep. Alabama and Mississippi are out of ICU beds. And I will say it since the media isn’t. That motorcycle rally up in Sturgis 2 weeks ago is what is causing all this havoc. Not a single person masked up and then they traveled across the nation spreading disease. There is no congressional concern that kids are killed in school shootings, so why would there be a concern for a mask mandate? Exactly. It won’t be until someone important dies that people will actually do what is right.

And I lied. I actually love glitter. The more the better. Who doesn’t like a little sparkle in their life?

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Glitter Bomb

Imagine you were at a crowded event/space with thousands and thousands of people. “Most” everyone has the vaccine (you hope). And then imagine at some point in the middle of the … concert, a giant glitter bomb goes off from the stage and hits everyone with glitter, little pieces of shiny paper and almost everyone has a tiny bit of glam on them. People are happy, jumping around, and even dancing. They are having so much fun. A “few” older people have masks on and seem to be minding their own business. Definitely not celebrating.

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Do you know how hard it is to get glitter off of you? Of COURSE you do, and that is probably why so many people actually hate it. So the title is glitter bomb as there is an actual product that someone invented to prank people who steal Amazon packages. It is hilarious. I would be absolutely livid if a glitter bomb went off in my house. You would never get it all cleaned up.

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Now imagine for a minute that instead of a glitter bomb going off at that concert, instead it is … ready for it? You guessed it. It’s COVID. What are the odds that last night in Lincoln Nebraska at Memorial stadium that it was 100% COVID free and everyone was 100% vax’d. Exactly. Not possible. We know that at least one or two or even a hundred people had COVID and got glitter over everyone. And then they went and spread it around town, in their homes, offices, bars and clubs. And then it got onto airplanes and traveled to Vegas, NYC and Texas.

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You have to think of COVID like you do glitter. You don’t have to eat/breathe it to get it on you and spread it around. All it takes is ONE tiny piece of glitter on you and you got it. You’re not wearing a mask, and of course you touch your face. Well when you put it that way, I REALLY hate glitter. 90 THOUSAND fans all went to see Garth and all of them got glitter on them. Because glitter isn’t alive looking for a new host like COVID is.

A glitter bomb has just exploded in the heartland — Nebraska.

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Oh No!

So I am sad to report that one of my favorite YouTube beauty bloggers/reviewers has contracted COVID from her vaccinated husband. She did not get the vaccine for her own personal reasons, and now she is struggling to breathe, possibly live. You know how you spend a lot of time with your favorite personality, and after awhile you really feel like you know him/her? This is very common when someone binge watches their favorite show, or in my case, watched a ton of videos from one particular artist. This actually happens with a lot of my own readers who have been reading the blogs for years. Every now and then a fan/reader will approach me and tell me they know who I am and they read my blogs. I had one person once say she knew me because I write how she thinks. Some people even think like I think because they change or modify their own behaviors and ways of thinking.

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So rather than being negative, find a positive opportunity. As much I as I try to find something good from my YouTuber getting the virus, I just haven’t been able to come up with anything and it is just sad. SHE was careful. SHE didn’t go out in public, and yet, she had it personally delivered to her front door. So the only thing I can say is please be diligent in washing your hands, use those cleaning wipes everywhere and try not to go out in public. I don’t know about you, but I would be devastated if any of my little pups or kitty accidentally caught COVID and died.

Open those doors with your butt and stop touching door handles and stop touching your face. Especially if you aren’t wearing a mask. If you have the shot you are not immune to it, you are only “safer” that you won’t die from it. There are people who have the shot and are still getting the virus. Like that dipshit politician who I can’t care enough to repeat his name.

The new, Suicide Squad came out Friday. I’ll just say that it is NOT safe for kids and it is kind of bloody gruesome for a DC movie. Harley Quinn of course stars in it, alongside some military guy from the last movie. I can’t remember his name, but he played Officer Murphy in the Robocop reboot. So if you are headed to the theater you are really only there for the loud subs, big screen and popcorn. Don’t get too invested in this sad, but action packed killer. Jungle Cruise is actually a little more believable and quite a bit more entertaining.

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I’m Hungry

What if … we only ate “IF” we were actually hungry? Not, hey it’s lunchtime, let’s go destroy a 1000 calories and top it off with some sugary ice cream that will spike our blood sugar. Has it ever dawned on you that maybe you don’t need to eat all those fatty sugary high carb foods? As a kid you ate because you were told to eat. Guess what? Kids today are getting fatter and fatter and their parents actually encourage it. We can’t totally blame the parents, as those kids have choices and they choose to overeat. 666. That’s how many calories you should eat at 3 meals a day, for each meal. THAT is 2000 calories. Wow, when you put it that way, that 1200 calorie Starbucks double whatever extra shot extra caramel wasn’t really worth it now that you only get one more meal for the day. Or just do whatever the F you want because you didn’t get the shot, you don’t believe you are going to die, because you are INVINCIBLE! There is no such thing as a virus. WRONG. You are reading this and finally getting it that you aren’t as healthy as you once thought you were. You don’t need that hot milked hormone laced Starbucks. If you didn’t know, ALL Starbucks fancy drinks are made with milk. That’s right. Not water. Years ago when I found out I stopped drinking those mochas. Hot milk makes me literally sick. You really have to tell almost every restaurant that serves you that you are vegan so you don’t get unwanted “stuff”.

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Cheese, milk, anything from a cow has hormones in it. You don’t NEED extra hormones in your system. There is this thing called the endocrine system that will be screwed up. So, if you didn’t know, a cow produces milk when she has a baby cow. We know that right. Well, when they steal the baby cow from the momma cow, she is emotionally traumatized. Her milk, intended for her baby, is now given to YOU, along with her sad tears and emotions that were created when she produced that milk. I know that sounds crazy, but have you ever thought that maybe your shitty emotions you are feeling aren’t really your fault. You ingested sad, hurtful emotions and it is affecting you accordingly. But since you don’t know that, you get pills from a doctor to combat it, but in turn it just makes things worse. Just try not eating dairy/beef for awhile and you will see a significant difference in your health and emotional well being. Chew on that. What you eat and drink affect how you feel. Wow. Go eat a happy strawberry, or a golden delicious apple. The natural sugar will make your heart smile.

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Are you smarter than a … PhD?

So if you didn’t watch television, then you wouldn’t know there is/was a show called “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” Yeah, my title today is a take off of that and I want to point out that many people (like millions) think they are smarter than a fucking doctor. Yeah, WTF is that? I have a friend who dropped out of high school and because a “nurse” with a community college degree said she didn’t think the vaccination was real because it was created too soon — decided that HER half baked opinion was better than the CDC. Hmm. Yeah, he still doesn’t have his shot.

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Am I ridiculing and MASK shaming him? Fuck yeah I am. Am I shaming him for not finishing school? No. Shaming him because there are clearly smarter, more educated people (like me) who make much better life, health, career and financial decisions. I pointed out that I can understand that having no good role models can warp your decision making abilities, but I’m right here in front of you telling you to go get the shot. Get the shot. Save a life. Your own.

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My own brother refused to get the shot and then I said, “Well, you can’t come visit unless you have documented proof you are vaccinated.” Boom. 1st shot next day. Don’t make me have to manipulate you to get the shot. Wait, what? Just by reading this blog your perception has already changed, and you are laughing because you already got the shot. Sweet. Then this wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for you to share it with one of your own network “friends”.

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Racism Is Not Skin Color

Wait, what? The last post was about skin color, and the whiteness or darkness of it, and now you’re saying that is not racism. Nope. It’s just plain hate. Hatism, is what it should really be called. Racism is actually hating someone’s culture that is not like your own. We all watch television and movies and we know there are other people in this world that live very different lives than our own.

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So while everyone was covered face to toe, and it was impossible to unlock your iPhone before the apple watch update, your mask sunglasses and ballcap could very easily hide your identity, and most specifically your race or ethnic background. So if you are totally hidden with your facial features, how can someone know what race you are when they plan on attacking you? It is the way you walk, the way you talk, and most specifically your accent. Most mid-west Americans do not have an accent and it is very difficult to tell where they are from, like what state or country they grew up.Fortunately for me, I love doing accents. Accents are just another form of acting, imitation and all you really have to do is think of someone who has that accent and pretend to be them. Of course, knowing how to position your tongue when you speak is important. If you ever took a Spanish class you will know you have to ROLLLLL your R’sssss.

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My Russian accent is probably one of my favorites. One of my friends thought I was hilarious and said I really had it down. Why Russian? I asked if he had ever heard of a Russian masked guy getting the shit beat out of him for just walking down the street? No? Yeah, me neither. Although I was told by another friend that even with my sunglasses and mask on, he could still see my bad ass eyebrows that make me look sinister. Sweet. I could play a villain in a movie.

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10K Calories -> 100 or Less

So, would you like to know how you can go from 10,000+ calories a day to less than a hundred? So I don’t want to sound like Romy & Michelle, but I invented this fat free, basically calorie free diet that forced my body to shed all this excess fat/weight. “God I wish I had your willpower.” – Michelle Weinberger.

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When your body realizes you stopped giving it those fatty sugars, and no carbs it goes into survival mode and starts using those stored reserves. Yay, it’s that rainy day your body has been waiting for! I start by doing the 20 hour fast and then eating twice within a 4 hour window. I usually eat at 10 am and then 2 pm. I counted the calories and if you make an Asian wonton soup, with spinach, green onions and water chestnuts, it is less than 100 calories. Actually it is 78. Yes, you read that right.

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Fill that InstantPot full of clean water and boil away. If you need some protein you can throw in a shrimp or two and it won’t add too many calories. You can mix it up with other vegetables to have some variety. You aren’t starving your body, and you won’t feel hungry. If you have added collagen to your daily coffee, that should also help give you a more “full” feeling. As a snack I eat almonds and sunflower seeds (only a handful). Almonds are a great source of magnesium and protein. Nut protein should always be your go to snack. Try this for as long as you can stand it.

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A shout out to my new favorite YouTube personality, Thomas DeLauer. I highly suggest you check him out and watch a few videos. He is easy on the eyes also. He totally motivates me to grab the dumbells. I wish my biceps bulged like his.

If you want to make your soup more like hot and sour, splash in some Braggs apple cider vinegar and stir in an egg when it comes to a boil. The soup brand? I get it at the Asian market, Ocean Pacific, so it is pretty authentic. Dragon something? I think most of them are zero calories so pick one. Enjoy.

Yay it’s shark week! I just watched shark vs. tuna. Amazing. I love shark week. Crazy that they have been on this planet like forever.

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Drop the Cookie

I was told once that I have no right whatsover to tell a parent how to raise their kids, BECAUSE (ready for it?) I have no kids of my own. Wait. What? Yep, that’s is what I was told. “F. You.” was my response. I have thousands of kids. All over the world that listen to me, read my words, thoughts, and my children’s book. In fact, thousands of parents read MY book to their kids every night. Hmm. When was the last time you actually read to YOUR kid? That’s right. I’m actually a better parent by spreading my secret messages to those kids daily. If you were to ask a kid what he/she learned from the book, each one will give you a totally different answer. Why? When you have multiple personalities working things out like adults, different messages are conveyed. When was the last time you actually taught your kid something good? Be nice. Be NICER. Be kind. Be kinder. Millions of parents “think” they are good parents, when in reality, … they are not.

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You don’t have to be an expert in relationships to see when a child is begging for attention and instead gets a tablet or iPad and told to go play quietly. There should be a metric scorecard for parents. Like, how much time and attention did you spend with your child today? What did you teach your child today? If you were to die tomorrow, what part of your legacy would your child remember? Do your kids know your parents and grandparents “dating” story? Society puts so much emphasis on education, but what they forget is that most of those foundation core beliefs start at home, in the home, with parents who really ARE good parents. Go watch the movie “Bad Moms”. It is hilarious. I love that movie. I could watch it over and over and never get tired of it. Why? Well, I love love love the actresses in it. And it makes me laugh. I’m not a bad mom, or a bad dad. I don’t make kids cry. I make them laugh and feel good about themselves.

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Anyway, so why the blog about cookies? Well, I think that someone needs to tell YOUR kids to stop eating all the sugar. Cookies, candy, brownies, cheesecake, …whatever it is that is full of calories that is doing the body long term detrimental degenerative damage. Newsflash – sugar is bad for you. Processed sugar is even worse, because it tricks the body. I have heard hundreds of people say they lost tons of weight JUST by cutting out the soda pop. Coke. Root beer. Whatever. And don’t think you are doing yourself justice by switching to diet poison. Aspertame is EVIL. EVIL EVIL EVIL. I don’t even have to go into all the horrible things it does to your body. You can ask Siri, Alexa or Google and all 3 of them will tell you how you will die if you eat it. Seriously. Stop it. Drink water. If you don’t like the taste, you can do Welch’s fruit flavoring like me. Cucumber water. Lemon water. Your body and complexion will thank you. Do not add sugar to that water. No you don’t need lemonade. You need lemon water to balance your acidity/ph levels.

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So that 2000 a day calorie guide is just a guide. Some people need less. Some need a little more. I think if you are eating vegetables and drinking water all day long you don’t need to count the calories. Why? Uhm, water has none. Oh. Duh. That frap from Starbucks. 900 calories. Each. That 20 piece chicken nugget from McDonalds, 1000 calories. Large fries and large coke. Damn. There goes your daily everything. Just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. Did you know those fries are sprayed with some sort of “dextrose” or sugar to make them so delicious/fattening. So just for fun, count your daily “average” calories and see what number you came up with. And Dr. Now says NO ONE gets a 10,000 a day calorie count. And trust me, it is super easy to hit 10,000 calories and even harder to get 10k steps in to counter it. Speaking of walking and steps, after THREE faulty Fitbits, I have advanced to the apple watch with no regrets. I hate having to charge it almost daily, but it always works, I can answer my phone with it, just like Dick Tracy, and I always have it with me, unlike my phone.

And on a side note, Brittany Spears writes a hit song “I’m a SLAVE for you” but then begs to be freed. I’m all about sending proactive messages to the Universe. You should listen to her lyrics. Here are a few that I wanted to share with you.

I’m a slave 4 U
I cannot hold it
I cannot control it
I’m a slave 4 U
I won’t deny it
I’m not trying to hide it

Rich people problems. Right? Poor people problems: Damn, groceries, gas, utilities are killing my paycheck. In the USA it’s Independence Day (4th of July) weekend. Be safe, be cool, be real. And if you are a friend or follower on Facebook, I literally have given up on that platform. No one sees my posts due to their algorithm so why bother. Amazon Prime members get access on to Evil (formerly on CBS) for free! You don’t have to pay for the Paramount app. Just go to the Amazon prime app and then channels. Boom. There it is for free. Streaming every Sunday, this season it is crazy wild. Episode 1 & 2 available now. If you have Disney+, Luca is a cool new animated movie that went straight to Disney+. It’s about a sea monster who turns into a little boy out of water. No, it is not a rip off of the Little Mermaid. You’ll like it.

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M.Y.O.B.

I don’t know about you, but I think it has been a really long time since anyone told another person to mind their own business. Yeah? I hear a lot of people telling other people to STFU, but not to mind their own business. For instance, is it ANYONE’s business what you do in your own house? In the privacy of your bathroom? No. It’s not. Then why do some “groups” feel they have the right to be YOUR mommy or daddy? That’s right. They don’t.

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The next time someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, simple reply “Why do you want to know?” and smile, or smirk. Show that person that is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. When someone calls you and asks what you are doing, ask them. Why do you want to know? Do I all of the sudden report to you? Are you my mommy or daddy? Nope. Then GTFO. I’m not telling. It’s none of your business.

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When I was working in the corporate world, I would have people calling me all the time asking what I was doing. Why? They actually wanted my time and didn’t want to interrupt. Once when asked that I said, “I’m baking a cake. What’s your favorite?” That was my boss who called that time. Oops. We had a good laugh. Sometimes I will just flat out ask “What do you want? Or why are you bothering me?” Let’s skip the formalities of being nice, obviously he/she wants something so just spit it out.

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It is perfectly okay to tell people to mind their own business. I tell people that all the time. Imagine what the world would be like if people weren’t always sticking their nose in someone else’s business. Wow. It might be like, living in a Buddha zen garden. Peaceful. Quiet. How often do YOU feel the need to micromanage someone? Why? Let him/her live in peace for just one day.

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Real Life Fairy Tale

Seeing is believing, right? Well, here is a video I captured with my night time security camera. A real live fairy caught in an invisible cobweb. The fairy and the web cannot be seen without the night time camera. I watched it for several hours tonight before finally freeing it. When the sun comes up I wouldn’t be able to see it. So as you watch it, you will see me coming out of the house looking at my phone. If you look closely you will see there are also about a dozen little fairies hanging down at the bottom of the cobweb tail near the ground. At first there was only a couple, but as the fairy couldn’t get free, he/she called for help and more came to the rescue, only to be caught as well.

Do you believe in magic and fairies? Create a fairy garden and you too will have these magical beings protecting your home and garden.

“I believe in fairies! I believe in fairies!”

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